Safe Haven
by hannnarivers
Summary: Having grown up in a perfect town full of perfect people, Hanna was desperately in need of a fresh start. But that fresh start proved to be a little different than she had anticipated after she met Caleb, and her whole world was turned on its head. College AU, rated T/M.
1. Minus Two Weeks

**Why am I starting a new multi-chapter when it already takes me five million years to update my current ones? Who knows, but I'm still so excited to write this.**

 **The chapters of this fic will have little time jumps between them, for reasons that will soon become more obvious. I'm hoping to involve a little more angst in this than I do in most of my stories, but don't worry, there will still be plenty of fluff to go around.**

 **I hope you all enjoy the first chapter!**

* * *

Minus Two Weeks

* * *

"Straighten your back, and don't put it down too close to the wall or you'll scratch the paint."

Hanna Marin all but dropped the cardboard box of shoes that she was carrying down onto the floor, turning to face her father with a disgruntled scowl on her face. Moving into college was supposed to be new, exciting, the start of the rest of her life; instead, he was making it feel like a military operation.

"I can do this myself, you know," She huffed, spinning on her heel so as to make her way back down the stairs as soon as possible. "I really don't need you and mom to help."

A short laugh came from the bottom of the stairwell as Hanna watched her mother approach, three of the same sized boxes stacked up in her arms. "You sure about that?" She joked, "I mean I knew you had a lot of clothes, but this is taking it to a whole other level Hanna." After placing the boxes, all labelled 'tops', down next to Hanna's, Ashley Marin turned to face her daughter and ex-husband with a sad smile on her face, her hands planted firmly on her hips. "Well, that's everything."

"I guess so," Hanna shrugged her shoulders, looking down the corridor for any sign of her new dorm-mates – there was six rooms in her dorm, each of which would house three people, and she was still yet to see another student.

"I saw two girls in that room at the end when we came in," Ashley pointed out after noticing the way in which her daughter was scouring the building, "Why don't you go and say hi?"

"It's fine," Hanna waved her hand out in front of her, "I'll come to the car and say goodbye to you guys first, I don't want you to have to wait for me, you have a long drive home."

Ashley shook her head, "Sweetie, it's fine," She assured her with a smile, "Your father and I will stay as long as we have to." She picked up a big carrier bag full of bed linen and pillows, "Want us to help you unpack?"

Tom Marin cleared his throat, a bit too noisily for Hanna's liking. "Uh, actually, I have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I was thinking that we could head off a little earlier than we'd planned?"

Ashley raised her eyebrows back at him – she should have known that taking him up on his offer of a joint ride was a mistake. This was the day that they were taking their daughter to NYU to begin the rest of her life, and yet he still couldn't find a way to take some time out of his day to be there for her.

"Sure," She agreed with a tight smile, though both Hanna and Tom could see straight through it. "Honey, why don't you come down and have your photo taken outside before we drive off?"

Hanna rolled her eyes, "Mom, that's embarrassing," She laughed, though she still followed her mother down the stairs to the car as per her request, "I don't want my new roommates to think I'm a loser before I even get to meet them."

Ashley pulled her camera out of her bag as they exited the building, tugging on Hanna's arm until she turned to face her, a distinctly unamused look gracing her features. "Smile," Ashley encouraged, "The sooner you get this over with, the sooner your dad and I will head back to Rosewood."

As much as she loved her mom, that was all of the ammunition that Hanna needed to plaster a huge fake grin across her face.

* * *

"So, you just got put in the same room by chance?" Hanna asked in total disbelief, throwing back a shot of some disgustingly sweet alcohol that her new roommate Emily had offered to her. She had only met the girl, along with her other roommate Alison, about an hour ago, but they were already getting along like a house on fire. Though, maybe that had something to do with their now mildly inebriated states.

"Yep," Emily confirmed, turning towards Alison, "We had no idea that we were gonna be put in the same dorm, let alone in the same room."

"Sounds like fate to me," Hanna laughed, raising her eyebrows, "So do the university know that you guys are…"

"Dating? No," Alison laughed, "We didn't want to tell them and risk not being able to share a room anymore."

Hanna scrunched her nose up as Alison turned to place a quick kiss on Emily's lips. "Please don't tell me I'm going to have to listen to you two going at it all night," She whined, "It was bad enough having to listen to my friends at home having sex through the wall at house parties."

Emily almost choked on her vodka soda, "Jeez Hanna, we've known each other for like five minutes and you're already complaining about our sex life," She laughed.

"She's clearly a little bitter," Alison joked, "Obviously doesn't get enough of it herself."

"How would you know?" Hanna shot back, pushing herself up and walking over to her portable speakers to turn the music up a little louder.

"Boyfriend?" Alison asked, eyebrows raised.

Hanna rolled her eyes as she sat back down, "No. Not right now."

"Well, now we have an aim for tonight," Alison smirked, "Get Hanna laid."

"Ali!" Emily laughed, clearly a little embarrassed by the forwardness of her girlfriend.

"Yeah, no thanks," Hanna smiled, "I'm more of a long term kinda person. My parents would kill me if they knew that I was doing… that." She looked down at the glass of bright red liquid in her hands, "They'd kill me if they knew I was doing _this_."

"Everyone drinks at college," Emily assured her, placing a comforting hand on top of her knee, "I'm sure they know you're doing it."

Hanna scoffed, "Then you definitely don't know my parents." She was right – they didn't know her parents in any sense of the word. Hanna had been brought up in a broken home; her mom and dad had separated a few years back, and despite living away from him, her father still seemed to have an unfair amount of control over her life. It wasn't just that, though – there was a general air of expectation surrounding her family, one that meant she was almost _required_ to get straight As, to get into a good college, to always look and behave perfectly. Sometimes, Hanna just wanted to let the world know how tired she was of being 'perfect'.

But, she didn't.

And so, nobody really knew just how much she hated it.

"Anyway," Alison blurted out, sensing the blatant unease in the room, "I told the girls in one-o-six that we'd meet them all in the common room at ten."

"Better get going then," Emily chirped in, "Hanna, you coming?"

"Yeah, sure," She smiled weakly in response, her head beginning to feel a little fuzzy after finishing her sixth drink, "Let me just grab my purse."

Hanna stood, playing with the strap on her black leather clutch bag as she watched Emily and Alison exit the room, holding hands and laughing together. She wondered what her parents would think if they saw her in the tight black and white mini dress that she was wearing, well on her way to being drunk, and fully intending to go past that point.

Hanna had never _really_ been drunk before – she and her best friend from home, Spencer, had stolen a few swigs of vodka from her parents' basement on one occasion, and that was enough of a thrill to last her for the rest of her teenage life. Spencer didn't seem to mind the rules and regulations that came with having strict parents, she was _that_ kind of a person. But Hanna had always wondered what it would be like to drink so much that she couldn't remember her own name, to experience nights like those that she had only ever heard people talk about. Tonight was about proving to herself that she was her own person, and that her parents couldn't control her forever.

The shot of vodka that she had decided would begin her transformation burned her throat as she strutted out of her new room, slamming and locking the door behind her.

She took a deep breath in through her nose and began walking, if a little unevenly, towards the large common room at the end of the dorm. She could hear music playing, people cheering and laughing, she could see the shapes of girls and guys dancing through the big square window in the door. For once, she allowed herself to be excited about something like this. It was a welcome feeling in contrast to that of dread, which she usually felt when she knew she would be doing something that her parents wouldn't approve of.

As Hanna took a final step towards the door, she curled her fingers around the handle and pulled it open in one swift motion. Launching herself forward, a big smile spread across her face, it took her a second to realise that her pathway into the room wasn't exactly clear. But by that time, the drink that had once belonged to the boy in front of her was now all down the front of her brand new dress, and she was pressed against the door frame with one hand on his chest, trying desperately not to fall onto the floor.

"Shit," The boy cursed, circling an arm around Hanna's waist in order to stabilise her, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were there."

Hanna looked up at him for the first time since their little accident, a bright red blush spreading across her cheeks. "It's fine," She assured him, shaking her head as her blue eyes connected with his deep brown ones, "It was my fault."

The boy swallowed, ensuring that Hanna was ok to stand on her own before he unwound his arm from around her waist. "Caleb," He smiled, offering his hand to her, "Rivers."

Hanna looked down for a second before accepting his handshake. "Hanna," She informed him as their hands joined, "Marin."

"Nice to meet you, Hanna Marin," Caleb smiled as their eyes met again; Hanna couldn't help but think what a beautiful smile it was. "Can I uh, help you get that off?" He nodded down to the stain on the front of her dress.

"Help me what now?" Hanna shot back, raising an eyebrow.

Caleb's eyes widened as he realised that she had misunderstood him, "Oh, no no no," He qualified, "I meant the stain, not your uh, your dress." He cleared his throat, "Let me try that again. Can I help you get that stain off?"

Hanna laughed at his awkward attempt at a recovery, "No, I'm good thanks," She giggled, "I'll just go change, it's fine, I'm fine," She confirmed, waving a hand out in front of her. Caleb nodded in understanding, and so she turned back towards the door, stumbling a little in the process. Within seconds she felt a warm pair of hands on either side of her waist, and a soft chuckle up against her ear.

"You sure about that?" Caleb murmured from behind her, "How much have you had to drink?"

Hanna bit her lip – normally she would have been mortified, totally embarrassed by her actions, but the alcohol in her system was leaving her with little room to care. "Not _that_ much," She giggled, feeling herself beginning to lean back into his embrace, "Just a little more than usual."

Caleb stepped around to her front, making sure to keep one hand planted firmly on her waist. "Come on," He smiled, warmly, "Let me walk you back to your room, at least."

"That's not necessary," Hanna assured him, pressing her lips together.

Caleb squinted at her, "Do you even remember which room is yours?" He asked, playfully.

Hanna rolled her eyes, laughing at his apparent lack of faith in her abilities. For a split second, their eyes connected, and she could swear that she felt a spark fly between them, compelling her to be someone that she usually, most definitely, was not. "Maybe not," She whispered, "Maybe I don't remember."

Caleb bit his bottom lip, his face a little more serious all of a sudden as his eyes pooled into hers. He studied her expression for a moment, trying to figure out what she was thinking. "Come on," He eventually decided, "Before anyone else notices what I've done to your dress."

As he tugged her through the door and gently led her down the hallway, Hanna couldn't help but smile giddily to herself; she felt, for the first time in a long time, _free_. And freedom felt better than she could ever have imagined.

"This is yours, right?" Caleb asked as they reached the last room on the corridor.

Hanna nodded as she fumbled around in her purse for her room key, "Yeah," She confirmed, opening the door, "You can uh, sit on my bed if you want to, I'll go change in the bathroom."

"You sure your roommates won't mind me being in here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, "I know girls can be… weird about that stuff."

Hanna shrugged, "I mean I have no idea, but they seem pretty cool, so I guess they won't mind." Caleb didn't have a chance to answer before she was tugging on his arm and pulling him inside, closing the door behind them. "Sit," She ordered, pointing to her bed.

Caleb smirked, sitting down on the bed and keeping a close eye on Hanna as she walked over to her wardrobe, pulling out a strapless red dress. "What about this one?" She asked him, holding it up to her body, "Or do you think it will make my boobs look too big?"

Caleb almost choked upon hearing her words, "I uh, I have no idea," He chuckled – she'd _definitely_ had too much to drink, "I don't really know anything about fashion."

"I wasn't asking you about fashion," Hanna sighed, rolling her eyes as she strutted over to the adjoining bathroom, "I was asking you about boobs."

Caleb bit his lip as the door slammed shut, and he was left to wait on Hanna's bed by himself. This girl was really something else.

He sat in silence for about thirty seconds before he began to feel awkward, and convinced himself that he should make an attempt to start a conversation. "So, what are you majoring in?" He asked, cringing a little at the sound of his voice breaking through the silence in the room. He spotted a half finished can of cider on the bedside table next to him, and reached over to take a swig of it; he was going to need to drink a _lot_ more if he wanted to be on the same level as Hanna.

"Philosophy," Came Hanna's reply from behind the bathroom door, "What about you?"

"Uh, computer science," Caleb informed her, raising his voice a little as the music coming from the common room got even louder.

"You must be like, crazy smart," Hanna giggled, pushing the door to the bathroom open and stepping out in her second dress of the night, "Is this ok?"

Caleb had lost track of their conversation as soon as he had registered her presence in the room once again. For the first time that night, he took a moment to truly appreciate the way that Hanna looked, the way that her long hair framed her face, and the way that the dress she was wearing hugged her figure in all the right places. Finally coming to the realisation that she was starting at him expectantly, he cleared his throat and met her gaze, "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I said you must be crazy smart, and then I asked you if the dress is ok," She smiled.

"Not really," Caleb confirmed scratching the back of his head. He watched Hanna's face fall before he realised that she'd gotten the wrong idea, "I mean, I'm not really crazy smart. This dress is definitely ok. It's more than ok, it's…"

Hanna allowed herself to blush as Caleb's compliment washed over her – it was unfinished, but as she watched his eyes run over her body, she was pretty sure that she knew what the end of the sentence would have been. "Thanks," She smiled, suddenly feeling a little shy. She looked down at his hands, noticing the fact that he was holding her half-finished can of cider from earlier, "You want your own can? We have a bunch over there."

"Sure," Caleb smiled gratefully, as she reached over and grabbed a can for each of them before sitting herself down on the bed next to him.

A contented silence filled the room for a minute or so as they sat and sipped their drinks, Hanna realising for the first time that night that she'd never felt this comfortable around a boy before. She'd only ever had one boyfriend back home, Sean, and she was pretty sure that he'd never really been all that into her. Their short relationship had felt forced; he was the star soccer player, and she was the 'it girl' of the school. Being with somebody else felt… nice.

"So, where are you from?" Hanna eventually asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked up at Caleb.

Caleb swallowed loudly, "Uh, a lot of different places. California, most recently," He confirmed, giving her a tight smile.

Hanna decided that there was more to the story, but she wasn't going to press him. Instead, she held her can of cider to her lips, and downed the remaining alcohol in one go. "I'm from Pennsylvania," She told him, placing the empty can down onto the floor beside her, "A really boring little town called Rosewood in Pennsylvania. It sucks."

She was slurring a little now, and Caleb couldn't help but smile at the care-free expression on her face. "Why does it suck so much?"

"Don't get me started," Hanna sighed dramatically, pushing her head into her hands, "All the people were boring, nobody would let me have alcohol, and all the boys were ugly."

"Sounds terrible," Caleb chuckled in mock sympathy. From the way that she was describing it, her idea of a place that 'sucked' was a lot different to his. In that moment, he didn't have the heart, or the mind set, to tell her about his experience of being thrown between foster parents in different states. For some reason, though, he had a feeling that he would end up telling her all about it someday, somehow.

Immediately catching on to his sarcasm, Hanna looked up, giving him her best death stare, "It was, ok?" She told him, "You don't know what it was like there."

"You're right, I'm sorry," He apologised, "I really don't have any idea of what it was like."

Hanna nodded, accepting his apology. She turned a little so that her body was facing his, before swinging her legs up over his lap and shuffling a little closer to him. "It's ok," She shrugged, "We don't really know each other, you're allowed to make mistakes."

Caleb smiled at her, reaching forward to tug the bottom of her dress down – it had ridden up when she'd swung her legs over his lap, but with Hanna being in her current state, he figured that she hadn't even realised. "Am I carrying you back into this party?" He joked, throwing back the rest of his cider before he placed the can next to Hanna's on the floor.

"Noooooo," Hanna laughed against him, "Let's not go back to the party, it sucked."

Caleb narrowed his eyes at her, "You didn't even make it into the party."

"And whose fault was that?" She slurred, a huge grin spreading across her face at the memory, "I can't believe you ruined my dress."

"Excuse me," Caleb laughed, faking offence, "Look at what you did to my shirt." He pointed down at a small pink mark on his top, causing Hanna to burst out into fits of giggles that he couldn't help but reciprocate.

"Shut up," She rolled her eyes, slapping his chest lightly, "That doesn't even count." She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she thought for a second, "Anyway, I still don't want to go back to that room. Let's just stay here."

"Stay here and do what?" Caleb asked, raising his eyebrows, although he certainly wasn't objecting to her idea.

Hanna pushed herself up and off of his lap, walking over to the mini fridge in the corner of the room and pulling out two bottles of red wine. "Get more drink," She shook her head, "I mean, drunk. Have more drink to get more drunk."

Caleb laughed, walking over to meet her, "I don't think you need any more drink _or_ drunk," He joked, stealing one of the bottles of wine from her, "But I do."

Hanna's eyes widened as Caleb strolled back to the other side of the room, unscrewing the lid of the bottle and downing as much of it as he could before she ran over to him, dropping the other bottle of wine on the floor in the process. "Give it back!" She squealed as she caught up to him, jumping on his back and leaving them both with no choice but to fall down onto her bed, her legs eventually falling on either side of his body as she straddled his front.

"Nope," He refused, pressing his lips together to stop himself from smiling as he held the half-empty wine bottle up above his head.

Hanna shuffled in an attempted to stop her short dress from riding any further up her legs, before placing her hands on his chest and moving her face right up next to his. "Do it," She challenged him, "Or I'll never tell you the secret that I was going to tell you."

Caleb raised his eyebrows, "You don't have a secret," He whispered, his eyes flicking down to her lips quickly. _What was he doing?_

"I do," Hanna whispered back, "But now you'll never know." And then, knowing that Caleb was completely and utterly transfixed by her, she reached up and stole the bottle from his hand. "Yes!" She exclaimed, practically beaming with joy as she sat back up and took a huge gulp of the wine, squinting at it's bitterness before she let the almost empty bottle roll down onto the floor, "That was gross, now I feel sick." She held her hand to her mouth, squeezing her eyes closed as she waited for the feeling to pass.

Caleb sighed, "I told you not to have any," He chuckled, "It wasn't even good wine."

Hanna groaned, flopping forward onto his chest as the room began to spin, "Stop talking, I can't hear you anymore, everything is moving," She mumbled against him, her eyes scrunched shut and her eyebrows knotted together.

Suddenly concerned, Caleb wound an arm around her, stroking his hand up and down her back soothingly. "Are you ok?" He asked, genuinely concerned, "Do you want some water or something?" He was trying desperately to help, but it was hard given the amount of wine that he'd just consumed.

"I'm fine," Hanna hiccupped, her voice fading, "I just… I just need sleep."

"That's okay," Caleb assured her, "You're on your bed, you can go to sleep if you need to." Still stroking her back, he peered down at her face to see if she looked ill, only to find that she was sound asleep, the bottom of his shirt scrunched up in one of her fists. "Huh, faster than I thought," He chuckled to himself.

Caleb allowed himself one more minute to lay with Hanna in his arms before he forced himself to sit up, cradling her against his chest. He was making a concerted effort not to wake her up, even though he was pretty sure that's she'd be able to sleep through an earthquake at this point. Gently prying her fingers from his shirt, he slid her onto the bed beside him, before laying her down and then shuffling away. He ran his fingers through his short hair as he stood, trying to figure out exactly how he'd gotten himself into this situation.

Not that it was a particularly bad situation to be in, he thought.

Pulling the covers up around Hanna, he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head, a gesture that he didn't even question until he stepped back and touched a finger to his lips. He didn't know what had compelled him to do it, but the small display of affection had come completely naturally to him.

"Goodnight, Hanna," He whispered, flicking the light off as he left the room, returning to the party that she was never destined to attend.

* * *

 **Well... how was it? Drop me a review and let me know your thoughts x**


	2. Minus One Week

**Thank you for your lovely reviews on chapter one, they really mean a lot to me! Thank you also for the kind messages that I've been getting on twitter about this fic, they are honestly such a great source of encouragement.**

 **To the guest who left me a little constructive criticism on Caleb's character in the first chapter – he was made to be somewhat more awkward/nervous than usual on purpose, and for very specific reasons! But that will change and more will be revealed, starting in this chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Minus One Week

* * *

"So, how's NYU?"

Hanna turned and threw her empty coffee cup in the trash before replying to her friend, "It's kinda weird being here…" She spoke, holding her phone to her ear as she reached into her bag and tossed a candy wrapper away too, "But it's starting to feel nice, like really nice."

"What do you mean? I'm not there with you, how can it be anything other than awful?" Spencer joked, laughing a little.

Hanna rolled her eyes as she began walking down the street towards her dorm, "Like, I miss you a lot, obviously, but being away from my parents and all that is…"

"Yeah I know what you mean," Spencer confirmed, interrupting her, "It feels good to walk out the door without someone telling you to be back by nine."

Hanna smiled to herself – at least somebody else understood how she was feeling. "So, how's Toby?" She asked after a beat, changing the topic.

"He's good," Spencer replied; Hanna could practically hear her grinning down the phone at the mention of her boyfriend's name, "How's… oh, wait." And now Hanna could practically hear her _smirking_.

"Ass," She shot back, though she was more than used to being subjected to her best friend's jokes about her love life. The truth was, ever since Sean, Hanna had been a little apprehensive about looking for anything more than a friendship; her first and only romantic relationship hadn't exactly been idyllic, and had left her feeling a little self-conscious around guys.

"But seriously, has anything been happening for you?"

Hanna shook her head as her friend's voice brought her back to reality. "Uh, no," She breathed out, "Just about nothing." She couldn't help but briefly think back to the previous weekend; images of Caleb wrapping his arms around her as she leaned back into his body flashed through her mind, and she silently scolded herself for even going there.

Spencer's voice was noticeably chirpier now, "Just about nothing? So there's something?"

 _Crap_. "No, there's nothing."

"Come on, there must be _some_ cute guys around," Spencer teased.

Hanna allowed herself a small smile, which seem to grow as she walked closer to her new home; the tugging at the corner of her lips became harder and harder to resist as more memories of the previous weekend flooded her mind. "Well there is this one guy…"

Spencer knew that she would get it out of her – she could sense that her friend had been a little more perky than usual, even though she was thousands of miles away from her. "Tell me more."

"But I haven't seen him for like a week," Hanna spoke quickly, trying to make her little 'run in' with Caleb sound insignificant, "Not even once."

"Why not?" Spencer sounded confused – there was a pause before she spoke again, "Did anything happen between you two?" Hanna knew by her even brighter tone of voice that Spencer had thought she'd cracked the code.

"I don't know, I guess we've both just been busy," Hanna sighed, "And no, nothing happened." _Did anything happen?_ No, Hanna couldn't count what had happened as something, 'anything'. She was drunk off of her head, and she couldn't even recount half of their encounter. Nevertheless, she still couldn't help but feel that she was lying to Spencer a little as she remembered the spark that ignited within her when Caleb flashed her his bright smile for the first time.

"Then how did you meet him?"

"He, uh," Hanna spluttered, already beginning to feel herself blushing as she explained herself to Spencer, "He spilled his drink down my dress and took me to my room to change." She bit down on her thumb nail and chewed a little as she awaited her best friend's response.

Spencer let out a short laugh, "It _definitely_ sounds like something happened to me."

"He sat on the bed while I got changed in the bathroom, ok?" Hanna retorted, reaching into her bag to pull out her keys as she approached her bedroom.

"And after that?"

Hanna unlocked the door before she answered – mostly because she needed a little time to recall what _had_ actually happened after that. "I uh, I don't remember," She concluded after a few seconds.

"Something totally happened!" Spencer squealed, "How was it?!"

"It did not!" She huffed, rolling her eyes, "I must have fallen asleep, I was still wearing my dress and my heels when I woke up in the morning."

"And your underwear?"

Hanna cringed at the thought of having woken up completely naked – which thankfully, hadn't happened, "Yes my underwear! I'm going now, I don't feel like being interrogated anymore."

"No, wait!" Spencer laughed frantically; she was clearly finding this conversation a lot more amusing than Hanna was, "One more thing."

Hanna huffed, resigning to her friend, "What?"

There was a brief pause before Spencer replied, her voice low, "Was he cute?"

"On a scale of one to ten? A solid eleven," Hanna couldn't help but smile as she answered her friend – she wasn't lying.

"You are so hooking up with this guy!"

Hanna rolled her eyes as she shook her head, but couldn't do anything about the grin that stretched from one of her cheeks to the other. Thank god Spencer wasn't there with her, or it would have _totally_ given her away. "Goodbye, Spence," She laughed, hanging up and throwing her phone into her bag before her friend even had a chance to answer.

Hanna looked around for her roommates as she pushed the door to her bedroom open, only to notice that both Alison and Emily were nowhere to be seen; their classes must have finished late that day. She dumped her bag down onto her bed and walked over to her mini fridge before realising that it was completely empty – she wasn't going to be able to get her fix of diet coke unless she went to the store to buy some more. _Damn_. With a reluctant huff, she retrieved her dusky pink bag from her bed and made her way back out the door, stopping in her tracks as she registered a familiar face opposite her, leaning with his back against the wall as he typed furiously on his phone.

A high-pitched 'oh' inadvertently slipped from between Hanna's lips as she completely failed at her attempt to hide her surprise; she certainly wasn't expecting to see Caleb after he had seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth for the last week. When he subconsciously looked up at the sound of her voice and his gaze met hers, it was distinctly less inviting than Hanna had remembered. "Hi," She added, starting to feel a little uncomfortable under the intensity of his stare.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Caleb's lips before it fell away almost immediately, leaving Hanna wondering whether or not she'd just imagined it herself. "Hey," He eventually replied, shuffling his feet a little as he looked straight back down at his phone and began typing again.

 _Maybe he's mad at me… was I really that bad?_ Hanna instantly registered the all-too-familiar feeling of guilt rushing through her as paranoid thoughts about what she could have done that night flooded her mind. "I'm, I'm sorry about last weekend," She began, taking a step towards him as she pulled the door to a close behind her, "At the party."

"It's fine," Caleb assured her monotonously, not even taking a second to lift his head as he spoke.

"No, really," Hanna qualified, sensing that she still owed him an apology, "I didn't mean to make such a bad first impression, I don't usually get that drunk I swear," She giggled, trying to lighten the situation.

Caleb didn't reciprocate the gesture; he did, however, peel his eyes away from his phone as he reluctantly met her gaze, "It's fine," He confirmed for the second time, nodding once before his eyes drifted to a point further down the corridor.

Hanna was a little taken aback; it certainly didn't seem like he was 'fine' with what had happened in her opinion. "Ok…" She nodded slowly, unsure of what else to say. An awkward silence surrounded them almost immediately, and for some unknown reason, something within Hanna compelled her to try to rectify it rather than to just walk away. "So are you going to the party tonight?" She cringed at herself as she heard her voice – asking Caleb about another party probably wasn't the best way to go about mending their 'friendship'.

Caleb sighed, finally locking his phone and pushing it into the pocket of his jeans as he looked up at the girl in front of him. "No, probably not," He shrugged his shoulders, crossing one foot over the other as he leaned further back against the wall.

Hanna should have seen that answer coming. _One more try, just carry on being nice to him, and you'll break him._ "Oh really?" She asked, feigning surprise, "Uh, why not?"

A smile spread across Caleb's face for the first time since their conversation had begun and he pushed himself away from the wall, taking a step towards Hanna. "Oh, I don't know," He mused, sucking a noisy breath in through his teeth, "I don't really feel like taking care of a drunk girl that I barely know for the second weekend in a row."

Hanna narrowed her eyes at his reply; she was expecting a sarcastic remark of some sort, but she certainly wasn't expecting _that_. "Well maybe if you actually made an effort to get to know me you'd feel differently," She shot back, barely taking the time to think about what she was saying before the words had left her mouth.

Caleb quirked an eyebrow, a smug smirk still tugging at his lips, "Who says I want to?"

"Why are you being such an ass?" Hanna retorted, suddenly feeling defensive, "I don't remember seeing this side of you when your eyes were boggling at the sight of me in that red dress."

Caleb let out a short laugh, "You were drunk," He qualified.

"So that means I've suddenly developed amnesia?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Caleb pushed himself away from the wall, before brushing the sleeve of his shirt with the back of his hand. "No," He smirked, "It just means that I was a decent enough guy not to be an ass during a time in which you didn't even know your own name."

Hanna had officially given up, "You know what, forget it," She huffed, re-opening the door to her room, "I don't wanna get to know you anyway."

Caleb narrowed his eyes, "Then why did you come out here?" He asked, cockily.

"I didn't know you'd be here," She rolled her eyes, "I came out to buy a drink."

"Then why are you going back into your room," Caleb raised his eyebrows, which annoyed Hanna even more, "Unless you suddenly remembered that you have a pop-up convenience store in there."

This guy really knew how to push her buttons. "Because I don't want to have to walk past you on my way back, ok?"

Hanna had slammed the door shut before Caleb even had the chance to open his mouth again.

Hands in her hair and back against the door, Hanna slid down until she was crouching on the floor and let out a long groan. _Great_. She was going to have to live in the same place as this guy for god knows how long, and she could practically already feel the embarrassment that she knew would wash over her every time she saw him from now on. Embarrassment and a little anger, actually; she may have previously consumed more alcohol than she could handle, but he'd been more of an ass about it than she'd anticipated.

A few moments later, Hanna jolted away from the door as she felt a push against her back, and Emily walked into the room.

"What were you doing on the floor?" Emily asked, a concerned and slightly confused look plastered across her face as Hanna stood up, brushing a little dust from her black jeans with her hands.

"Nothing," Hanna replied sharply. When she noticed that Emily looked a little taken aback by her harsh tone, she felt the need to qualify her abruptness, "I just had a conversation with the guy that took care of me at the party last week, you know, the one that I've been talking about non-stop for seven days," She explained, pacing around the small amount of free space in their room.

Emily nodded in understanding, still a little confused as to how their conversation could have lead to Hanna crouching on the floor. Then, her eyes lit up as the realisation hit her, "Is that him?" She asked excitedly, wiggling her eyebrows as she smiled at her friend, pointing back towards the door with her thumb.

"Is that who?" Hanna retorted, though she knew perfectly well who Emily was referring to.

Emily sighed as she sat down on her bed, "Hanna, don't play dumb with me."

Hanna inhaled deeply through her nose, "Yeah, that's him," She rolled her eyes, before laying down on top of her duvet and crossing her arms behind her head, "Why is he still out there?"

"Wait, what's wrong?" Emily asked, suddenly confused by Hanna's unenthusiastic tone, "I thought he was nice to you?"

"Apparently he had a personality makeover," She murmured, bitterly. Only ten minutes ago had she been speaking to her friend about the kind, considerate guy who had helped her out so willingly; now, he was nothing but a memory, replaced by the smug looking boy that seemed intent on annoying her as much as he possibly could.

Emily now had a look of concern, maybe even anger, plastered across her features, "Did he say something to you?" She walked across the room to sit on the end of her friend's bed, searching her face for any signs of upset.

"He was just being a jerk," Hanna shrugged nonchalantly, before picking up her phone as she began to scroll through her messages, "It's cool, he doesn't owe me anything."

"He could at least be a decent human being," Emily spat out. Though she and Hanna had only known each other for a week, they'd already formed a pretty strong bond, and Hanna hadn't missed the way in which Emily was quickly becoming very protective of her.

"My fault," Hanna laughed, though she could feel a few tears beginning to brim at the corners of her eyes, "I should have known that he was too pretty to actually be a nice guy."

The door clicked before flying open as Alison sauntered into the room, having heard the tail end of her roommates' conversation, "Who are you guys talking about?"

"That's the guy that took care of Han last week," Emily whispered, nodding towards the door after noticing that Caleb was still standing in his position against the wall outside.

"Him? That's Caleb," Alison replied a little too loudly, considering that he could probably hear what they were saying. The door was shut, but the walls in their building were pretty thin, and didn't leave a lot to the imagination.

Hanna could only pray that Caleb hadn't been eavesdropping on her conversation with Emily; she pushed a finger to her lips, signalling that Alison should speak more quietly. "Yeah, I know that's Caleb," She hissed, rolling her eyes as if she didn't even have the energy to _care_ about what his name was.

"And did you know that Caleb has a girlfriend?" Alison smirked as she walked over to Hanna's bed, taking one of Emily's hands in hers once she was close enough to do so. Emily looked up at her girlfriend and smiled, her nose crinkling up a little as she did so.

"He does?" Hanna raised her eyebrows in surprise. She'd never seen him with anyone else; well, she'd never seen him alone with another girl. Maybe that was who he was waiting for?

"Yeah, I saw them out here a couple of days ago," Alison nodded, turning her attention back to Hanna after reciprocating Emily's smile, "Looked pretty close to me."

Hanna knew that her new friend was just trying to get a rise out of her – over the past week she had come to learn that whenever Alison had the opportunity to tease someone, she would take it without hesitation. She couldn't work out whether it was a personality trait that she found amusing, or one that she would come to hate.

"Oh," Hanna eventually mumbled in reply; despite the fact that she was feeling more than a little angry in regard to Caleb's behaviour, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed upon hearing the news that he had a girlfriend. Still, she wasn't desperate for a boyfriend, and certainly wasn't looking for a long term relationship, so she figured that it didn't really matter that much anyway.

"Well, it's probably a good thing that nothing happened between you two then," Emily chirped, trying to lighten the situation a little. Just as Hanna had learned that Alison was usually the one to start up a teasing 'session', she had learned that Emily was usually the one to initiate its dissipation.

"I didn't want it to, he's an ass," Hanna mumbled, clearly unwilling to talk about Caleb for any longer.

Alison raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "That's not what you were saying a few…"

"I changed my mind, ok?" Hanna shot back, interrupting her. She stood up, grabbing her bag before she made her way over to the door; once she was there she took a tentative look through the peephole, confirming to herself that Caleb had in fact moved from his previous position. She sighed in relief, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and buy a drink without being mocked by an ass."

She didn't even bother looking back at the confused looks on her roommates' faces before she slammed the door shut and started power-walking to the store.

Why was she letting him get to her?

* * *

 **Oops, Hanna accidentally hates Caleb juuuuuuust a little bit... don't worry though, I promise it isn't gonna last too long. Also, I just want to apologise for the very slow updates recently; I've been so busy with uni stuff, and it doesn't look like it's gonna be getting better any time soon, sadly. To make up for it, I promise to update really really quickly during my Easter break, which is almost a month long. Reviews are appreciated as always friends xx**


	3. Zero

**Thank you so much to the people who are showing interest in this story, particularly on twitter! I'm really excited for the next few chapters.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Zero

* * *

Hanna was beyond tired.

She'd been in classes since nine o'clock that morning and it was now getting on for four; if this hadn't been her last one of the day then she might have considered going back to her dorm and skipping the rest of them. Sinking further down into her seat, she took a long sip of her caramel latte and braced herself for yet another lecture on moral philosophy – her least favourite part of the course. Thank God it was Friday.

"Is this seat taken?"

Hanna looked up to see a tall, slim brunette who wouldn't have looked out of place on the cover of Vogue standing beside her, raising her eyebrows as she waited for Hanna's permission to sit next to her. "Uh no, it's not taken," She smiled, shaking her head as she removed her coat from the seat, "Here."

The girl muttered a 'thanks' and sat down, immediately opening her purse to take out a small leather notebook and a diamond studded pen. Hanna wondered how she managed to write all of her notes with a book that small and a pen that chunky.

"So, what's your name?" Hanna asked, feeling a little awkward. They'd only been at college for a couple of weeks, and so most of the people in her classes were still strangers to her.

The girl inhaled deeply, as if deciding whether or not Hanna was worthy of a response, "Marissa," She declared, giving Hanna a quick, disingenuous smile, "What's yours?"

"I'm Hanna, Marin."

Marissa shuffled in her seat before turning to face Hanna, "Hanna, huh?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Hanna nodded slowly, a little confused as to why the girl suddenly seemed to be taking an interest in her.

She pursed her lips, "And where exactly do you live, Hanna?"

Hanna was a little taken aback by her forwardness, "Why?"

Marissa shrugged, "No reason, just curious."

Hanna smiled, happy that somebody finally seemed to be trying to initiate a friendship with her. "I live in the new dorms on Third Avenue," She informed her, "You know, the ones with the really ugly purple drapes that-"

"I don't care about the drapes," Marissa interrupted, "My boyfriend lives there, and I know you've been trying to make something happen between the two of you."

Hanna felt her heart flip in her chest. So _this_ was Caleb's girlfriend. "I-"

"I don't want your excuses," The girl snapped back, "Caleb told me all about what you did that weekend, all about how you tried to get him into bed and God knows what else, even though you _knew_ he had a girlfriend."

"I didn't," Hanna began to feel tears welling in her eyes, "I didn't do that," She raised her voice a little, starting to get angry. How could Caleb have lied to Marissa? She didn't remember much from that night, but she knew that she would never have tried anything with him if she'd have known that he had a girlfriend.

"Don't lie," Marissa snapped back, "Pathetic little girls like you don't know what they're getting themselves into when they try things like this." She slid her notebook back into her bag and stood up to move away, before realising that the entire row of seats had already been occupied by other students. "Looks like I'm stuck sitting next to the slut of the century then," She muttered under her breath as she sat back down, rolling her eyes and purposefully avoiding any kind of eye contact with Hanna.

"Believe me," Hanna huffed, "I'm just as thrilled about it as you are."

* * *

Five minutes of sitting on her bed writing out notes had resulted in Hanna being asleep on top of her throw for almost an hour. It was a little different to her usual naps, which were often dreamless, and a good way for her to refresh herself after a long day of classes. This time, her slumber was spoiled by a nightmare; a very graphic depiction of Marissa turning up at her door and taking revenge for whatever she thought Hanna had done.

And so, when a loud bang on the door erupted throughout her dorm room, Hanna sprung straight up and off of her bed, terrified out of her wits. "Shit," She panted, completely out of breath as she held her hand up to her forehead, "Who is it?"

Silence.

"Hello, who is it?" She tried again, walking towards the door.

"It's Caleb."

She stopped in her tracks when she heard his hoarse voice, slightly muffled by the wall which stood between them. _Caleb? What the hell was Caleb doing at her door?_ "Go away, I don't want to speak to you," She shot back instinctively, "Now or ever again."

A soft chuckle could be heard as Caleb took note of Hanna's response, "You sure about that?" He teased. Hanna could practically hear the smug smirk that was bound to be tugging at his lips. "You don't even know why I've come here."

Hanna rolled her eyes, "Well whatever it is, I'm not interested."

"Could you at least open the door?" Caleb tried, "It's harder to win you over when I can't see your face. It's all about the eye contact."

Hanna rolled her eyes _again._ She was pretty sure she'd never rolled her eyes at one person so many times in her life. "Even if I wanted to hear what you had to say I couldn't," She informed him, the smallest hint of annoyance in her voice, "I've just had a nap and I'm a mess."

 _There was that chuckle again_. "Why do you think I care about what you look like?" He snorted, "Just open the door already."

Hanna allowed herself a small smile as an idea popped into her head. "Say please," She demanded.

"What?" He scoffed in response.

"Say please Queen Hanna and I'll open the door," She repeated, sounding quite proud of herself.

Caleb inhaled deeply, "Oh pretty please will you let me in, Queen Hanna," He recited monotonously, finally giving in to her wishes.

Hanna couldn't help but be amused by the complete lack of inflection in his voice. She sighed at the realisation that she should probably let him into her dorm after that display of compliance. "Perfect," She chirped, pulling the door open to reveal an equally amused looking Caleb, the warm expression on his face a complete contrast to the stoic one that he had adopted the last time she had seen him. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple black tee shirt, his hair was a little more disheveled than usual, and a noticeable amount of dark stubble peppered his perfectly chiseled cheeks.

 _Damn it_. It was so much harder to hate him when he looked like _that._

She swallowed, realising that she might have been staring at him without saying anything for a little too long, "So, what is it?" She raised her eyebrows and tapped her foot, hoping to stay in control of the conversation.

Caleb cleared his throat, and his expression changed to one that Hanna had never seen him adopt before.

He was _nervous_.

"I actually came here to apologise," He mumbled under his breath, "I _was_ an ass when I saw you last week, and I know that it was completely unjustified."

Hanna nodded twice, pouting as she mused over his words. She definitely wasn't expecting an apology. "So why did you do it?" She paused, "Why were you treating me like dirt when you were nothing but nice to me the night we first met?"

"Can I come in if you're gonna make me explain this to you?" Caleb grumbled, "I don't really feel comfortable talking about it out here, anybody could walk past."

Hanna sighed, before swinging the door open and gesturing for him to walk inside. "I'm gonna sit on the bed, you stay standing," She instructed him as she plopped herself down on top of her comforter, smoothing her hair down a little as she suddenly worried about how it must have been looking after her nap. "Well, why aren't you talking yet?"

"I feel weird standing here when you're sitting," Caleb shrugged, "It feels like I'm auditioning for some play." Hanna rolled her eyes as he moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Why don't you want me sitting here anyway?"

"Stop changing the subject," Hanna snapped, "Why were you such an ass last week? And why did you pretend to like me at that party if you didn't?"

A smile tugged at the corner of Caleb's mouth, and his eyes turned a shade darker as he leaned forward until his lips were right by Hanna's ear. "Who says I don't like you?" He murmured, his smirk spreading further across his face when he felt Hanna's body shiver involuntarily in response to his words.

"Stop," Hanna inhaled sharply through her teeth. She felt Caleb's warm breath tickle her ear as he let out a short, husky laugh upon hearing her demand.

"Stop what?" He teased.

Hanna closed her eyes and placed a hand upon his chest with the intention of pushing him away; for some reason, once it was there, she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. "You know what," She hissed.

"I'm asking you a question," He informed her, his voice impossibly low, "Who says I don't like you?"

"Your attitude," Hanna shot back at him, finally coming to her senses and pushing him away from her, "Last week. That's what tells me you don't like me."

Caleb took a deep breath in, as if finally accepting that he might actually have to give her an explanation. "Look," He started, "I've been seeing this girl-"

"Marissa," Hanna nodded, "I know."

Caleb furrowed his eyebrows, "How do you know her name?" He asked, genuinely confused as to how Hanna had acquired such information.

"Because your _delightful_ girlfriend cornered me in class today, and to all intents and purposes threatened me," She spat out, bitterly, "You know, you might just have the worst taste in girls of any person I've ever met."

A smile spread across Caleb's face as he began to laugh lightly, "You're telling me," He chuckled.

Hanna narrowed her eyes, "I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't be saying that about someone you're dating," She told him, "Not that I'm sticking up for her."

"We're not dating," Caleb sighed, scratching the back of his head, "We're not dating anymore. We broke up a couple of days ago."

Hanna raised her eyebrows, "You did? Because when I talked to her this afternoon, it really didn't seem like-"

"That's because Marissa is Marissa," Caleb interrupted, "This is what she does."

"What are you talking about?" Hanna asked, obviously confused, "What does she do?"

Caleb swallowed nervously and looked up at the ceiling before he began to speak again, "Before we came to college, Marissa and I had been dating for a year. It wasn't really a relationship, more just a free pass for sex any time either of us felt like it."

Hanna rolled her eyes, "Nice," She scoffed, sarcastically.

"Anyway," Caleb continued, ignoring her comment, "In twelfth grade, I found out that I was entitled to a bunch of money, thousands and thousands of dollars that I'd never known about before then. You don't need to know where it came from, but it was there. Marissa found out and started taking advantage of it. At first she would use my bank details to buy things online, but soon she was taking money out and hiding it away, keeping it for herself and blackmailing me into not telling anybody about it."

"But how did she-"

"Know my bank details?" Caleb asked, already anticipating Hanna's question, "I stupidly told her my PIN one time when I was out of town and had left my card at home. I needed someone to buy a birthday present for a friend… she must have written down the rest of my numbers too."

Hanna nodded in understanding, "Well what was she blackmailing you with?"

"Doesn't matter," Caleb sighed, clearly not wanting to delve any further into the topic, "But now she's blackmailing me into staying in a relationship with her, too. She has my money, and knows about things that could get me in a lot of trouble. When I saw you last week, I was waiting for her to meet me, she was only at the other end of the corridor. I was afraid she would hear us talking and do something with the information that she has on me."

"How did she know about what happened at that party?" Hanna asked him, "Did you tell her?"

"I had to," He nodded, "She asked where I'd been and I couldn't lie to her, she always knows when I'm lying. She got mad, really mad. That's why I was a little nervous when I was in that room with you, I knew that she wouldn't like me being alone with another girl."

Hanna needed to know whether he'd lied to Marissa, or whether his ex-girlfriend had been the one to fabricate the story. "What exactly did you tell her about it?"

"The truth," He told her, honestly, "I told her exactly what happened. If she said anything else to you, then she was lying. This is what she does, she lies, she deceives, she blackmails, and I have no idea how to get out of it."

Hanna's voice softened a little, "Well, why didn't you tell me all of this before?"

Caleb rolled his eyes, "Why would I tell someone I barely know?" He scoffed, scratching the back of his neck.

Hanna could see right through his brash attitude; his voice was low and his upset obvious due to his reluctance to make eye contact with her. She swallowed nervously, "Then why are you telling me now?"

"I don't know," He shrugged, and then the room was silent. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as his eyes traced over Hanna's features. "You know what," He chuckled, standing up from the bed as something within him seemed to change, "Why the hell am I telling you, you don't need to know." He began walking towards the door, leaving Hanna a little dumbfounded.

"Stop," She raised her voice at him once she realised that he was about to leave, simultaneously standing up from her bed in defiance, "Stop doing this! Stop changing your personality every three seconds just because it suits you, you can't just be a nice guy once minute and an ass the next."

"What?" he laughed as he turned back around to face her, "I'm walking out of a room, is that a crime now? I apologised to you, isn't that what you wanted?"

"You know, I haven't actually heard you say sorry once," She shot back at him, stepping closer to where he was standing, "I want a sorry."

"Sorry," He spat out insincerely, "I'm sorry your precious little ego got hurt while I was being blackmailed, totally my fault."

Hanna could feel her cheeks burning red with anger now, "Why can't you say something sincere for once?!" She yelled at him, her emotions getting the better of her, "All I'm trying to do is get to know you, why the hell do you refuse to let me in?!"

"Why the hell would I want to let you in?" He shot back at her, his shoulders visibly beginning to shake.

"Because maybe I care!" She felt a tear slip down her cheek as the words instinctively flew from her mouth, "Maybe I care about you."

Caleb was silent, his breathing heavy and his fists clenched at his sides. He swallowed loudly.

And then, everything seemed to happen at once.

She barely even had time to register what Caleb was doing as he stepped forward, and his hands made their way to her cheeks, and his lips pushed forcefully against hers, and she was left standing completely in shock, her arms by her sides and her eyes still wide open as he kissed her, hard.

This kiss didn't last for long, a couple of seconds at the most, but when he pulled back after what had felt like an eternity, Hanna couldn't bring herself to speak, or even to move. She felt her gaze inadvertently shift from Caleb's eyes, to his lips and then back up again, over and over as neither one of them dared to say a word. Something within her was pushing her to step forward and connect their lips once more, to circle her arms around him and pull his body into hers and let him decide what happened next. She was determined to ignore it, absolutely sure that it was the wrong thing to do.

Only – much to her dismay – the feeling became overwhelming, too powerful, and she found it hard not to trip over her own feet as she flung herself forward into his embrace.

Caleb was clearly anticipating her move and immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, his fingers dancing across the warm skin of her back under her loose white tee shirt. The kiss was a complete contrast to the last; their mouths opened instinctively under one another's, their tongues greedily moving in perfect synchronisation and their noses bumping against each other's every so often as they sought to give and take everything that they could.

Hanna was trying to think, trying to tell herself that this wasn't a good idea, that she didn't even know who Caleb really was, but any coherent thought that she had was turned to a pile of nonsense every time Caleb took her bottom lip into his mouth and ran his tongue across it. What she had intended to come out as words were coming out as soft moans, and as they mixed with the deep groans emanating from Caleb's throat, Hanna decided that trying to put an end to whatever was going on between them was futile.

She somewhat came back to her senses for a moment as Caleb pushed her shirt a little further up her back, obviously intending to pull it over her head. "Wait," She instructed, her voice muffled by his lips, "We need to lock the door."

Caleb reached behind him with one hand – still keeping the other firmly locked around Hanna's waist – and twisted the lock on the door. "What about your roommates?" He mumbled as he brought his lips back to hers.

"It's date night," Hanna tried to explain, but it was hard given her proximity to him, and the way his eyes were boring into hers, "They won't be back until midnight."

That was all that Caleb needed before he closed the distance between them once again, this time succeeding in his mission to pull Hanna's shirt off as he walked them in the direction of her bed. As he was about to lower them down onto her comforter, Hanna pushed her hands onto his torso, which prompted him to break the kiss and look down into her eyes.

In that moment, Hanna saw a vulnerability that she had never noticed in him before, something in his eyes that told her he was so much more than the cocky, smug exterior that he chose to shield himself with. Her hands slipped under the bottom of his shirt as she maintained eye contact with him, before she began to run them slowly up the expanse of his torso. She swallowed as she felt his defined muscles under her fingertips, and practically lost it when her hands reached his chest; she felt how quickly he was breathing and the speed at which his heart was beating, pounding at a million miles an hour against her palm.

With one more brief look into his eyes, she noticed something akin to hope flickering across them.

And then the softness and slowness of the moment was gone, it's intensity replaced by another of equal value, but a completely different nature. Now everything was moving much faster than Hanna could keep up with; Caleb was lowering her onto the bed, his hands were moving over the burning skin of her torso as he kissed her fervently, the heat that was emanating from his body making her forehead bead with sweat as she wrapped her legs around his back and pushed herself against him.

Her heels ran up and down the bottom of his spine as his kisses became more desperate, then her legs dropped back down to the bed as his lips trailed a path down her neck and to her breasts, not even bothering to unhook her bra before pulling the cups down and latching his mouth onto her nipple. Hanna threw her head back and mewled at the contact, her fingers instinctively weaving their way through his hair as she pulled at it gently, encouraging him to continue his ministrations on her.

"Shhhh," He whispered against her ear, having pulled his mouth away from breast, "Someone will hear us."

Hanna nodded in understanding as one of his hands found its way to the button of her shorts, and this time, when his lips reconnected with the sensitive skin of her breast, the feeling was accompanied by the pressure of one of his fingers as he pushed it inside of her without warning. She arched her hips up in surprise, and despite his previous cautionary advice, couldn't help the guttural moan that proceeded to vibrate throughout the room.

"Shit Caleb," She panted, pushing his head down further onto her breast as a means of encouraging him. She felt him smile against her.

His lips trailed a line of sloppy kisses until they reached hers once more; he took a moment to appreciate the look of lust engrained in Hanna's eyes before he pushed another finger into her and joined their lips, swallowing the noises she was making as he continued to pleasure her.

Hanna was getting impatient now – she wanted Caleb, and so that's what she was going to get.

She was by no means a virgin; she and Sean used to sneak out to Spencer's lake house for the sole purpose of having sex whenever they got the chance, the thrill of doing something that they knew their parents wouldn't approve of being more than enough incentive. But never in her life had Hanna Marin actually felt a burning _need_ to be with somebody in that way, until now.

Caleb's arousal was more than evident by the way in which it was pressing up against her thigh; Hanna only had to flick open the button of his jeans and slip her hand down into his boxers to discover that her suspicions had been correct. Caleb's hips jerked as her fingers wrapped around his length, her other hand desperately pushing the material of his pants and boxers down his legs.

He simply mumbled something incoherent against the thin skin of her neck in response to her actions, clumsily pushing her shorts and panties down until they met her knees, neither of them caring that they were both still half-dressed as Hanna guided him to her entrance. Caleb looked up at her with the intention of asking for permission, but the moment was all-encompassing, too much for either of them to bear for any longer, and he was inside of her before so much as a word could be spoken.

It was fast and desperate and sloppy, Caleb pounding into her with considerable force almost straight away, Hanna spurring him on with grunts and moans which vibrated down his throat as he kissed her relentlessly. It was a little hard for Hanna to move as she was still bound at the knees by her shorts, and so she kicked her legs out forcefully until the material slid off of her and onto the floor beside the bed. With her new found freedom, she wrapped her legs around his back, the change of angle making it almost impossible for her not to make noises that could easily have qualified as screams.

But neither of them could have cared less about who heard them anymore.

She could tell that she was close, and when Caleb brought one of his fingers to circle around her nub, she knew that she wasn't going to last for much longer. A long, drawn-out moan that sounded a lot like his name slipped from between her lips as she felt herself go over the edge, her walls contracting around him relentlessly as he grunted into her ear, finishing at the same time. Usually it would have been over within a matter of seconds, but the waves of pleasure continued to coarse through Hanna's body as Caleb's thrusts became shorter and more disjointed, the heat of the moment dissolving until all that they were left with was the harsh reality of the situation.

It had all happened so quickly, so uncontrollably, that Hanna hadn't even had a moment to consider the consequences.

But now it was too late, and she was left staring at Caleb as he pulled himself out of her and rolled to the side, tugging his boxers and jeans up before he stood up from the bed and reached for his shirt.

She had a feeling that he wasn't going to be sticking around for much longer that evening.

* * *

 **Ok, this was a really fun chapter to write. I hope you all liked it, reviews are appreciated as always x**


	4. One Month

**I miss Haleb. It's only been eight days and I'm already having withdrawals. Writing about them is getting me through it.**

 **Guest who made predictions about future chapters - You definitely made some correct guesses!**

 **Jane - I'm planning for this fic to be 13-15 chapters long, depending.**

 **Luja14 - Hanna's eating disorder will definitely feature in this story, as you're about to find out.**

 **Whilst I'm on the topic, I feel like I should warn you that this chapter focuses heavily on the topic of eating disorders, so if it's a particularly sensitive subject for you then you may not wish to go on reading.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

One Month

* * *

Hanna slammed the door behind her and brought her hand up to her forehead.

She was sweating.

And, yet again, it was because of Caleb.

The number of awkward encounters that they'd had since that fateful night just over four weeks ago was higher than Hanna cared to admit. No more than a 'hey' had been exchanged between the two of them – except for that one time that Hanna had trodden on his foot and apologised – usually, it was just a faint smile or a nod of the head in acknowledgement of the other's existence.

No matter how pleasant or insignificant their short encounters were, Hanna never failed to walk – or run – away feeling mortified. She had no idea what he thought every time he saw her; he'd gotten a good enough look at just about _everything_ that night, and Hanna didn't like the fact that he could probably conjure up an image of her naked form in his mind any time he liked.

She didn't know why the thought panicked her so much – maybe it was that she had no control over the situation, but maybe it was something else. Maybe it was the fact that it was _her_ body that he'd seen. Maybe, just maybe, she still wasn't as confident as she wanted to be, as comfortable with the way she looked as she pretended to be.

She did, however, know exactly what had triggered this. That morning, she'd chosen to wear her favourite skirt, a long, flowing piece of black material dotted with pink and white flowers that her mom had bought for her years ago. Putting it on always made her smile – she missed her mom more than she had imagined she would, and as silly as it sounded, wearing the garment made her feel a little closer to home. She'd paired the skirt with a new, pastel pink crop top, something she had known would complement it perfectly the moment she bought it.

Hanna had always been a little wary of crop tops, mostly because they showed her stomach. Now, in her mind, there was no reason for her _not_ to want to show her stomach off – it was washboard flat, and her constant hard work in the gym meant that her abs were finally beginning to show through. Just what she had always wanted. But every time she did, she couldn't help but think back to who she was before. All those times that she would sit in bed at night, staring down at the soft rolls of her stomach, the rolls that none of her friends were burdened with. _Why did she have them, rather than the toned body that so many people her age had? Why couldn't she just be normal? Pretty? Perfect?_

She'd known that they were the reason for which those boys in school had laughed at the thought of dating her – they were shallow as hell, and couldn't even bear the thought of looking past her exterior. She'd always thought it was silly, thought that girls should wear what they wanted no matter what, that crop tops and shorts and all kinds of clothes looked wonderful on all kinds of bodies. But teenage-hood was cruel, and soon enough she'd found herself starting to believe the whispers.

She'd started to eat more and more to comfort herself, to drown the pain of feeling like she was no good, like she would never live up to what her friends, her mom, her 'best friend' Mona wanted her to be. It was Mona who had first suggested that she do it, that she should make herself throw up.

And so she did.

She regretted it instantly, feeling shame flood her body the minute she pulled back from the toilet. She'd been hunched over it for twenty minutes, emptying the entire contents of her stomach, making sure that there was absolutely nothing left in there. When she looked down at the part of her body that she had come to hate so much, she almost felt disappointed by the fact that it still looked the same. Realistically, she'd known that one time wouldn't change anything. _But maybe if she kept on doing it…_

So, despite the shame and the disappointment, Hanna did it again. And again. And again. She lost count of how many times she made herself throw up over the next few months, spending hours every single day getting rid of every morsel of food that she ate. She also started eating less and less at mealtimes – her mom began to get especially worried when she started turning down her lasagne, which had always been Hanna's favourite. But she didn't say anything, because her daughter seemed happy. She was losing weight, and fitting into clothes that she'd always wanted to wear, and had even been asked out by one of the school's star athletes. Ashley couldn't have cared less what her daughter looked like, but she was willing to support her if losing weight was what she wanted.

Hanna almost felt bad; she knew that if her mom had known what she was doing, how she was doing it, she'd have stopped her as soon as she'd started.

But she couldn't tell her, she couldn't let her mom stop her.

Finally, something was working.

The illusion came to an abrupt end one evening, when her mom walked in on her emptying the contents of her stomach into the sink after a binge. Ashley had looked mortified – Hanna didn't think she'd ever be able to get the image of her tearful, shocked, horrified facial expression out of her mind, ever. It was enough to shake her out of it, to make her want to stop.

Her mom helped her all she could – she got her in contact with a therapist, who tried to talk to talk to Hanna about some 'deep seeded emotional issues' crap that was supposed to help her see a way out of it all, see why she started doing it in the first place. But Hanna didn't need any of that, because she had the image of her mom's facial expression carved into her mind forever.

That alone was enough to make her, gradually, reluctantly, over a period of months, stop.

Over the years, the thoughts had dampened down. She'd made herself throw up once since then, but she'd instantly regretted it and vowed never to do it again.

This was the first time, the first time in years, that she'd felt like breaking that promise.

She knew that it was stupid, knew that it had probably meant nothing, but when Caleb's eyes had flickered straight down to her stomach as they'd passed each other in the corridor, she'd instantly felt like throwing up. She'd seen the slight smirk on his face as his eyes had come back up to meet hers. _He was laughing at her_. She'd been kidding herself – of course she didn't look good enough to wear a top like that, even after everything that she'd done to make sure that she looked _perfect_.

And now, here she was, standing in front of the toilet in her room. She'd walked there in a daze, almost absentmindedly, the disturbingly comforting view of the white porcelain drawing her in. She wanted to do it so badly, _needed_ to do it. She'd never let anyone see her naked since Sean, never let anyone see her naked _aside_ from him. It was a mistake to have trusted Caleb, even for a second. He'd sent her right back to the place that she'd tried so hard to avoid.

She was searching for any scrap of self-confidence that she could muster, anything that would stop her from leaning over that damned toilet and doing exactly what she didn't want to do. But being so far away from her support system, her mom and her friends at home, Hanna found herself at a loss. She felt so unbearably alone in that moment that it felt like the only thing to do.

Once, twice, three times.

She kept going, noticing after ten minutes that she had tears streaming down her cheeks. But they didn't stop her.

It was Emily entering the bathroom that finally made her jerk back in surprise.

The look on her face was one that Hanna recognised all too well – it was near enough the exact same expression that her mother had adopted, though perhaps a slightly muted version.

Hanna felt the guilt bubbling to the surface already. She tried to speak, but her throat felt like it was being scratched by a thousand nails, "I-"

"Hanna are you okay?" Emily interrupted, offering her the black hairband that had previously adorned her wrist. The look on her face had turned to one of worry, and Hanna noticed that it lacked the definite sheen of disappointment that her mother's had had. Maybe she didn't know what was going on after all.

"I'm fine," Hanna gulped, rejecting the hairband before pushing herself up off the floor and flushing the toilet, "I think I just ate something bad, but I feel better now."

Emily raised her eyebrows, clearly not having any of it, "This looks serious to me Hanna, you've been crying." She reached out to wipe a tear from her friend's cheek with the pad of her thumb.

"Yeah," Hanna shot her a weak smile, "I had horrible stomach cramps, but they're gone now, I swear."

"I think we should take you to get checked out, just in-"

"No."

"No?" Emily questioned.

"I don't need to see a doctor, I'm fine," Hanna insisted, "I'll just get an early night."

Emily held her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes scanned Hanna from head to toe. "Your hands are shaking," She commented, "I'm taking you to see a doctor."

"Em-"

"No buts," Emily shook her head, "It's better to get yourself checked out, just to make sure. We can go to a walk-in." She walked back into their bedroom before returning with Hanna's favourite jacket, "Put this on, we're going now. I'll drive and we'll call them on the way there."

* * *

"And when did the nausea begin?"

"Uh," Hanna played with her hands in her lap, "This morning," She lied, "Right after breakfast."

"Ok," The doctor nodded, typing something out on her computer before she looked back at Hanna, "What did you eat?"

"Bacon," Hanna lied, "And an egg."

"No you didn't," Argued Emily, who was sitting in a chair next to Hanna – she had walked into the doctor's office with her as if she was her mother, barely giving her the chance to say no. "You had an apple."

"That was yesterday," Hanna shot back.

The doctor simply raised her eyebrows, before reaching into the drawer behind her and pulling out a thermometer. "I'm just going to check your temperature," She smiled, walking over to Hanna before carefully sticking the instrument into her ear. "Everything looks fine here, I think we're most likely looking at a twenty-four-hour stomach bug," She concluded.

"Good," Hanna nodded, unable to hide her relief, "So I can go?"

"I'd just like you to take a quick urine sample for me first," The doctor explained as she reached behind her for a small, clear pot, "It will tell me whether there are still any nasty bugs in your system."

Hanna wanted to roll her eyes, but knew that she couldn't.

She wished that she could tell them all what was really going on, that a bug, or whatever the doctor thought it was, hadn't made her sick. That it was something a lot more complicated than that. But right now, taking the urine test seemed like the best option – it was going to get her out of there a lot sooner than telling the truth would.

"Fine," She smiled falsely before turning to Emily, "But don't you even think about following me into the toilet."

Emily held her hands up in resignation as they followed the doctor out of the bathroom. "The toilet is down the hall there," She gestured, "Take as much time as you need, just bring the sample back to me when you're done."

Hanna nodded in understanding and fled to the bathroom before anyone could say another word to her – this was all so unnecessary, all she wanted was to go back to her room and hide under her comforter and forget about the last twenty-four hours. But she knew that she wasn't going to be able to do that until she complied with the doctor's – and Emily's – wishes, so she begrudgingly held the pot under herself as she peed, filling it up as far as she could.

She grimaced as she closed the lid and then washed her hands briefly, feeling a primitive need to get out of that place as soon as possible. Anything medical-related had always freaked her out a little.

The doctor smiled as Hanna returned and handed her the plastic pot. "Perfect," She announced, zipping it into a small, clear bag, "Usually it takes us a few hours to run samples through the computers and get results, but I can sense that you're a little agitated today, so we'll try to move things along as fast as we can for you."

 _Agitated was an understatement_. "Thanks," Hanna smiled weakly, "So should we just wait out here?"

"There's a waiting area down the hall, the results should be a half hour at the most."

"Uh," Emily stuttered, "Han, I have swim practice in fifteen minutes, I really can't-"

"Em, it's cool," Hanna interrupted enthusiastically, "You go, I'll be fine."

"I can tell them I'll be late," Emily tried as they made their way over to the waiting room, "I'm sure they won't mind."

"Go," Hanna encouraged her warmly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Emily seemed to think for a moment before she replied. "Promise you'll call me and tell me if everything's okay?"

"Promise," Hanna nodded, "Now go or you'll be late."

Emily reluctantly turned on her heel and left, and Hanna breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad that this was all near enough over with, that after she got these stupid test results she could go back to her room and sleep the rest of the day away. But time was passing excruciatingly slowly – the twenty-seven minutes that went by before the doctor returned felt more like twenty-seven days.

"Hanna Marin," She called out, her eyes scanning the room for the blonde.

Hanna shot out of her seat immediately, practically jogging over to meet the woman that she had somewhat come to trust over the last hour – she had a kind face and a warm smile, which had made Hanna feel a little more at ease. "Everything's ok right?" She questioned as they walked down the hall, back to the doctor's office, "Do I need to sign anything before I go?"

The doctor gestured for Hanna to enter the room before closing the door behind them. "I actually have a few more questions to ask," She smiled warmly, taking a seat at her desk, "Why don't you sit down?"

Hanna was suddenly a little nervous – was something actually wrong with her? No, it couldn't be. She was absolutely fine. These questions were just going to be procedural, stuff they asked everyone. Or maybe the doctor knew, maybe she could tell that Hanna had purged that morning. The situation was beginning to feel a lot more intense, the room a lot smaller, her heart rate a lot faster.

"Hanna, have you been feeling nauseous a lot recently?" The doctor asked as she leaned forward, a concerned look in her eyes.

Hanna shook her head, "Uh, no," She replied uneasily, "Just this morning."

"Ok," The doctor nodded before typing something out on her computer. "Now this question may seem a little personal, but I'm required to ask you it."

Hanna swallowed. _Personal_. The doctor knew about her purging.

Hanna nodded, silently giving her permission to ask.

"Are you sexually active, Hanna?"

Hanna furrowed her brow in confusion. That wasn't what she was expecting, and she was inexplicably relieved that she wasn't going to have to talk about what she'd done that morning. "Uh, kind of," She answered without really thinking, her cheeks turning a little red, "Not for a long time, but then… once."

The doctor nodded in understanding, "Did you use protection?"

Hanna scoffed and rolled her eyes, "I always-"

She paused mid-sentence as the realisation hit her.

Her heart felt as if it had stopped beating in her chest.

Her stomach lurched, and she had to hold her breath to stop herself from throwing up again.

Tears began to well in her eyes as she struggled to come up with a response. But she had a feeling that the doctor already knew what her answer was – the middle-aged woman reached over her desk for a tissue and handed it to Hanna, who took it without saying a word.

She didn't know how long she was sitting there in silence for, but it felt like an eternity. She was glad that nobody was pushing her to speak; her hands were shaking and the room was spinning, and she couldn't seem to form any logical thoughts. "Am, um, am I-" As soon as she attempted to speak, a fresh batch of tears erupted from her eyes and cascaded down her reddened cheeks.

The doctor simply handed her another tissue, and waited for her to calm down a little before she spoke. "Hanna, the results of your urine test showed high levels of a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin," She paused to check that Hanna was listening, that she had understood, "Usually, when people have high levels of this hormone like you do, it means that they're pregnant."

 _Pregnant_.

Hanna was almost sure that she was going to throw up again.

"I'm pregnant?" She spluttered, tears falling down her face freely now, "I can't, I can't be. My mom-"

"Hanna," The doctor tried, leaning towards her, "I know this is a lot to deal with, but you have options. Everything is your decision, you can tell whoever you want to about this, and do whatever you want with the information."

"My mom and dad are never gonna talk to me again," Hanna whimpered, looking down at her lap as her breathing became more shallow, "I can't do it, I can't have it."

"Is there anybody else that you could talk to about this?" The doctor tried, "Are you in contact with the father?"

 _The father._

 _Caleb._

Caleb Rivers was the father of her _child_.

She only just made it over to the sink in time before she threw up, the thought of her having to tell Caleb that she was carrying his baby too much for her to handle. She felt a hand on her back and one holding her hair back as she wept for all she was worth, barely noticing when the doctor brought a chair over and helped her to sit down. "You don't have to go anywhere right now Hanna, you can stay here and process this for as long as you would like."

Hanna nodded, staring out into space.

She didn't think she'd ever be ready to process what was happening to her.

* * *

"Why didn't you call me?"

Hanna shot up into a seated position as Emily's voice roused her from her nap – she didn't even remember falling asleep on her bed, but guessed that she must have been tired after spending five hours walking aimlessly around the city. "I uh, I'm sorry," She shrugged, bringing a hand up to her forehead. She had a blinding pain that reached from one side to the other, most likely a result of hours of crying.

Emily rolled her eyes, throwing her bag down onto her bed before walking over to sit on the end of Hanna's. "Well, was everything okay?" She asked casually, "Anything I need to be worried about? Am I gonna catch anything from you?"

Hanna scoffed, "You definitely don't need to be worried about catching anything from me." Emily raised her eyebrows. "Seriously," Hanna continued, "Everything's fine."

Everything was the _opposite_ of fine, but she couldn't tell Emily what was really going on. She hadn't even allowed herself to believe it yet.

"Good," Emily smiled sincerely, "It must have been one of those twenty-four hour things that the doctor was talking about then."

"Must have been," Hanna shrugged, giving her a small smile.

"I was kinda hoping that nothing was wrong, because there's something that I really want to talk to you about today," Emily started, nervously. She was playing with her hands in her lap, and Hanna couldn't help but notice that she had the faintest hint of excitement in her eyes.

"Ok," Hanna nodded, "What is it?"

Emily stood up from the bed, and began pacing from one side of the room to the other. "I'm not sure what you're going to think about this, so I'm just going to come out and say it." She paused, moving back over to the bed that Hanna was sitting on. "Ali and I are moving out, we're getting our own place."

"You're what?" Hanna laughed in disbelief.

"We've been saving for an apartment for two years now, and Ali's dad offered to make up the rest of the money as an early Christmas present for the both of us," She smiled, no longer able to hide her excitement as a wide grin spread over her face, "We've been apartment searching, and found the perfect-"

"When are you moving out?" Hanna interrupted, a look of hurt plastered across her face.

"Han-"

"When are you moving out?" She repeated.

Emily bit her bottom lip, "In two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" Hanna laughed spitefully, standing up from her bed as her eyes welled with tears, "Two weeks?! And what, I just live on my own, or get stuck with two complete strangers?"

"Han, you'll get new roommates! It might not be for a while, they'll only move people in once they find students that need a place to stay, but-"

"I don't want new roommates," Hanna spluttered, "You and Ali are my friends."

Emily sighed, resting a hand on Hanna's shoulder, "We'll always be your friends Han, whether we're living with you or not."

Hanna shook her head before pushing Emily's hand from her shoulder. "You can't do this!" She yelled, her eyes welling with tears all over again, "You can't do this to me, not right now."

Emily took a step closer to her friend, concerned by how deeply the news seemed to be affecting her. "What do you mean not right now?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

Hanna took a shaky breath before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just, I need you around," She swallowed, "At least for a while."

"For what?" Emily enquired, speaking in a voice gentler than the one she had previously been using; she was beginning to think that Hanna was upset about more than just the obvious.

Hanna gulped, her bottom lip visibly trembling, "I'm in trouble."

"With who, your mum?" Emily asked concernedly as she watched Hanna's face turn white. She reached for her hand and lead her back to the bed, where they both sat down, "Hanna, please tell me what's going on."

Hanna tried to speak, but her bottom lip wouldn't stop quivering, and she couldn't quite bring herself to form a complete sentence. She didn't even think that she wanted Emily to know, at least not yet. But it was eating her alive, and as soon as the words left her mouth, she felt an unexpected feeling of relief wash over her.

"I'm pregnant."

Emily didn't say anything at first – her mouth simply opened in shock, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. But then she saw the look of terror on her friend's face, and suddenly the fact that she was pregnant didn't even matter. She just wanted her to know that everything would be okay. "Hanna," She tried, pulling her into a hug as Hanna began to weep again, "It's going to be okay, I promise."

"It's not," Hanna gulped, pulling back from the hug, "It's not going to be okay. I don't know what to do, Em."

"Who's the father, if you don't mind me asking," Emily tried, hoping that the answer would give her some idea of how Hanna was feeling, about how difficult the task of comforting her would be, "Is it Sean? Did he come down here when Ali and I were away?"

Hanna shook her head, "No," She paused, "Worse than Sean."

"Well who else," Asked Emily, confused, "You've barely even spoken to any guys since…"

Hanna raised her eyebrows. She knew exactly how Emily was going to finish that sentence.

"Caleb?"

Hanna nodded twice.

"You're pregnant with Caleb's baby?" Emily asked in disbelief.

"It sounds even worse when someone says it out loud," Hanna mumbled as she looked down at her lap, "Please don't tell anybody, no one can know."

Emily sighed, wrapping an arm around her friend's shoulder, "I won't, I swear. But you know that you're gonna have to tell people eventually, Han."

"Not if I don't keep it."

* * *

 **I love cliffhangers.**

 **Reviews are appreciated as always (also, if you'd like a preview of the next chapter then just let me know in your review, I'm in a writing mood and have a bunch of stuff finished already) x**


	5. Two Months

**Thank you so so much for your kind reviews on the last chapter, they really do mean a lot to me! This chapter has a lot more Caleb in it than the previous one did, so I think you guys will be happy.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Two Months

* * *

College – as far as Hanna had experienced – seemed to be a never ending string of parties, and drinking, and more parties. That had never been a bad thing during the first four weeks of the semester, she'd actually kind of enjoyed it; the freedom, the thrill of doing something that she knew her parents wouldn't approve of.

But all of that had come to a grinding halt.

Because now, Hanna Marin was pregnant, and she couldn't live the life that she'd so desperately been pining for, for the past eighteen years.

 _Eighteen_. She was only eighteen, and she was pregnant. She couldn't quite believe it herself; of all the turns that her life could have taken, she never imagined that this would be the one, that she'd end up being a mother before she was even twenty. The thought terrified her, so much so that she'd never, not even for a moment, allowed herself to be excited at the thought of bringing a baby into the world.

But other people had done it before – she certainly wasn't the first eighteen-year-old to fall pregnant. And if others could do it, then she could do it too, right?

At least, that's what she told herself as she stood in her dorm room, looking blankly at her reflection in Alison's full-length mirror. Alison had actually said that she could keep it, once she and Emily had moved out. Their moving date was fast approaching – it was only two weeks away – and Hanna was feeling more and more uneasy about it as the days went by. Nobody had applied to take their places in the dorm, yet, and so she would be living alone for the foreseeable future. On the plus side, she guessed that being on her own would make it easier to hide the fact that she was pregnant from everybody, especially Alison.

Emily was still the only person that she'd told, and the only person that she wanted to know about it, for the time being. She hadn't even told Spencer, and had often dodged her calls in fear that she would end up telling her somehow. Hanna had only just come to the decision that she wanted to keep the baby, after weeks of debating with herself, and still felt infinitely unable to speak about it with others. She knew that she didn't want to get rid of him or her; she already felt an attachment to the life growing inside of her that she couldn't even bear to think about severing.

But then, she had her parents to think of, too.

Her dad would undoubtedly cut her off if he knew that she was pregnant, without a second thought. She knew that. And she feared more than anything that her mom would too. Throughout her life thus far, her mother had been her lifeline, her biggest and only supporter after her father had left them. But at the same time, she was strict, and she had expectations – expectations that Hanna didn't necessarily agree with, or live up to. It was almost as if she was being made to make an impossible decision, to choose between her parents, and her unborn baby.

It was all too much for Hanna – who a mere few months ago had simply wanted to start a new life at college – to deal with.

And so, she hadn't dealt with it, not really. Her friends didn't know, her parents didn't know, and perhaps most importantly, Caleb didn't know. Hanna wasn't entirely sure whether she _ever_ wanted him to know, especially after barely having any contact with him since their little 'incident' _. How would he react? What would he want from the situation?_ She couldn't imagine him wanting to be a part of the baby's life, not with the amount of college parties that he attended throughout the week, and the brazen attitude that he hid beneath.

Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, Hanna ran her hand over her still-flat stomach, which was clad in the black fabric of the mini dress that she was wearing. In a few months, there would be a bump there – a small one, but a bump nonetheless. And then it would grow, and grow, until she couldn't hide it anymore, and people would _know_. The thought made her feel like throwing up for more reasons than one.

She stepped away from the mirror and took a seat on her bed, unable to look at herself for any longer.

Pregnancy, and the changes that it imposed upon ones body, were hard for anybody to deal with. But those difficulties seemed to be magnified by a thousand times under the pressure of Hanna's eating disorder; past or present, whatever it's status may have been. She'd thought that she'd 'beaten' it, having not binged or purged for a few years before coming to college. But then, just before she'd found out she was pregnant, it had started again.

She'd tried not to let it spiral, she really had, but once it had started, it was harder to stop than she'd imagined it would be. One binge and purge had turned into two, three – it had always felt dirty, so _wrong_ after she'd done it, but now that she knew she was pregnant, the feeling of guilt was overwhelming.

Then again, it was her coping mechanism. Her coping mechanism for dealing with everything that was going on in her life. How ironic, that the very thing that was helping her to deal with the thought of her baby, could also be harming him, or her.

She had promised herself that she would stop, not only for her, but for her child. And she had, to an extent, but there were still days when the thoughts in her head took over, and she almost seemed not to be able to control her hands as she grabbed another box of cookies and then her fingers slipped down her throat.

But tonight, she was going to forget about all of that; she was going to be regular, bubbly Hanna Marin, at a college party. She was going to stroll in there, and forget about every little bit of self doubt that she possessed.

As she walked out of her dorm, and down the stairs towards the floor on which the party was being held, she had to keep reminding herself that that was the case.

Emily was the first person that she saw as she walked in – she'd gone down twenty minutes earlier, after Hanna had taken too long to get ready. Seemingly a little tipsy already, she grabbed Hanna by the hand and tugged her into the room, giggling as she did so.

"Ok, you need to try some of this," She smiled as she pulled Hanna over to a table of drinks, before even saying hello, "It's punch, with like, fifteen different types of alcohol in it. It tastes gross but-"

"Em," Hanna interrupted her, "I can't drink," She raised her eyebrows, "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Emily muttered, grimacing before she reached for a plastic cup and poured Hanna some diet coke, "Here."

"Thanks," Hanna sighed in response, giving her a tight smile as she took the drink from her friend. She shuffled her feet around a little before looking up at Emily, who appeared as if she was about to cry on behalf of her. "Don't look at me like that," Hanna tilted her head, "It's fine, I don't care. Go get drunk, I can be sober alone."

"It's more than that and you know it Han," Emily sighed, "You look upset."

"I'm fine."

Emily raised her eyebrows.

"I'll be fine," Hanna corrected herself, "Believe me, if this party turns out to be a bust, I have _Friends_ on Netflix waiting for me in our room."

Emily laughed and shook her head as she looked around the room, searching for Ali, who should have been there by that time. But instead, her eyes caught sight of someone completely different. "Han, look who's over there," She whispered into her friend's ear, tapping her shoulder incessantly, a mildly alarmed expression playing upon her features.

"Who?" Hanna questioned as she looked up at Emily, before turning her attention to the man that she was pointing to.

Caleb.

 _Damn it_.

Why did he have to keep… popping up in her life?

"Well, go over and talk to him," Emily encouraged, nudging Hanna's shoulder with her arm, "You've got a lot to talk about."

"I can't do that right now," Hanna scoffed, shaking her head before she took a sip of her coke.

Emily raised an eyebrow, "People are gonna ask why you're not drinking," She argued, nodding down at the red cup in her friend's hand, "Nobody comes to a college party and doesn't drink."

"I am drinking," Hanna retorted, "Just not alcohol."

Emily sighed, and placed her hand on Hanna's arm, "Han, look at me," She took a deep breath in, thinking about the best way to broach the subject, "You can't keep it a secret forever."

"I'm not," Hanna shot back bitterly. Emily looked a little taken aback at her harsh tone, and Hanna immediately felt guilty. "I mean, I will tell him- someone, I don't know," She sighed, rubbing her forehead, "I just need a little more time."

"Han, it's been two weeks," Emily reminded her.

"Yeah," Hanna scoffed, "But two years still wouldn't be long enough."

 _Two years, a lifetime. Same thing._

"Why don't you want him to know?" Emily asked, as she pulled Hanna over into a more secluded corner of the room.

Hanna instantly shot Emily a look of disbelief. "Why don't I want a guy that I barely know, and have barely spoken to after having a one night stand with, to know that I'm pregnant with his child at the age of eighteen?" She mused, sarcastically, "You know what, you're totally right, he'll probably jump for joy. In fact, why don't I just tell him right here, right now? Oh, hey Caleb, I know you just came here to drink and hook up with girls, but if you want to, you can help me raise a baby too."

"Ok, I get it," Emily rolled her eyes, "But if you don't want everyone in this room to know about it, then I suggest you speak a little more quietly."

Hanna sighed deeply, closing her eyes as she scratched the hair at the back of her head, "You know what, I'm just gonna go back to our dorm and get some sleep. I'm probably deprived after having been woken up by morning sickness every day for a week," She rambled, turning away from her friend.

"Han," Emily reached out to grab her by the arm, "Please don't go, look, I promise I won't say anything else about it, ok?"

Just as Hanna was about to argue back, their conversation was unexpectedly interrupted.

"Leaving already?"

Hanna's head whipped around at the sound of the familiar voice, which had come from behind her.

 _Damn it._

 _It was him._

She sighed deeply. "Yeah, I am," She confirmed as she turned to face him, a stoic look on her face, "I have better places to be."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes," She smirked at him, "Now let me past, please, I don't have time for your games."

"I wasn't playing games," He shrugged, "I just came over here to talk. We've barely spoken since…" His voice trailed off as he registered Emily's presence, and suddenly felt a little awkward. "Since our encounter," He finished.

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Subtle, real subtle," She mumbled under her breath.

Emily laughed, before stepping forward to place to her hand on Hanna's arm. "It's ok, I'll leave you guys alone to talk about your encounter," She smirked before winking at Hanna, who tilted her head disapprovingly in response. Her eyes were telling Emily that she _really_ didn't want her to leave her alone with him.

But, Emily did.

And then, Hanna was left standing there with Caleb, who was shooting her _that_ smile and giving her _those_ eyes, and she hated it and loved it all at the same time.

"So," He broke the silence, after a beat, "How've you been?"

Hanna narrowed her eyes, "You don't care how I've been," She shot back.

Caleb let out a sigh, before he pursed his lips and looked down at the ground; Hanna realised that she may have been a little harsh on him.

She didn't really know what she was mad at him for – maybe it was for not _really_ speaking to her for two months, or maybe it was for walking out of the room without saying anything that day. But in her heart, she knew the real reason for which she was being so defensive around him, and a large part of it was to do with the baby that she was carrying, the baby that was half of her, and half of him.

She'd wondered about what he or she would look like numerous times; would they have her blue eyes, or Caleb's deep brown ones? Would they have her bright blonde hair, or would they be brunette? Would they get her dimples, or his cheek-to-cheek smile? Would they look so much like Caleb that people would know that they were his? No, _surely_ that would be impossible.

"Hanna?" Caleb asked, shaking her out of her reverie, "Are you ok?"

She took a deep breath in, centring her mind. "Yeah, I'm fine," She told him, "Not that's it's any of your business."

"Look," He started, "I'm sorry for not talking to you since… you know. And I'm sorry I walked out on you that day. I didn't, uh, I didn't do either of those things with malicious intentions."

"With what?" Hanna raised her eyebrow, an unamused look on her face.

"I didn't mean to upset you," He clarified, "I guess I was just worried, about other stuff, you know. I've never told anybody else about what I told you that night."

"About Marissa?" Hanna asked, her voice high – she was surprised that he'd told her in the first place, but even more surprised that she was the only person that knew about it.

He nodded twice. "I guess I just got defensive, and when I get defensive, I run," He shrugged, "I'm sorry."

Hanna swallowed, and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how she felt about their current situation, about him talking to her again. It was much easier to mentally cut him out of her – and the baby's – life when they weren't in contact with each other. Now, he seemed to be trying to make amends.

He took a step forward, and placed his hand on her lower arm; Hanna's head shot up at the contact. "Can we at least be friends?" He asked genuinely, his eyes boring into hers.

Hanna couldn't take it anymore – he was so naïve to the whole situation that it was paining her. He wouldn't want to be friends when he knew that she was carrying his baby, and she knew it.

He wouldn't want to be _anything_ in relation to her.

She took a deep breath in, before reaching up to push his hand from her arm. She looked him in the eye, and concluded that he wasn't drunk, _yet_. Maybe now would be a good time to have this conversation after all. "We need to talk," She told him, leaning in a little so that he could hear her over the loud music in the room, which somebody had just, annoyingly, turned up.

He smiled softly, and then nodded towards the door, silently asking her whether she wanted to leave. Hanna nodded back, and within thirty seconds, they had both left the party and were in Caleb's dorm room. Hanna looked around, cautiously noting the plethora of very technical looking computer equipment that surrounded his bed and sat upon his desk. She didn't even want to know what he used it for.

Caleb sat down on his bed, and pulled up a chair for Hanna to sit on. She shook her head, unable to stop herself from pacing due to her nerves; she felt like she might pass out at any minute, and being in a space as confined as Caleb's dorm room really wasn't helping.

"Look, before you say anything, just let me speak for a minute," Caleb mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "I shouldn't have snapped at you, I shouldn't have left without saying anything… I probably shouldn't have done a lot of the things that I did that night," He swallowed, "But I just want you to know that I didn't just use you, for sex, I mean. That wasn't why-"

"I know," Hanna nodded, "I get it, me neither. Things were intense."

"Yeah," Caleb agreed, his eyes boring relentlessly into hers.

A somewhat awkward silence filled the room as they both figured out what to say next, not knowing what the other was thinking, or how they were feeling. Hanna closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose, willing herself to bring up the topic that she _knew_ she needed to talk to him about.

But once it was out, she could never take it back.

 _Was she really ready to take that step?_

"Hanna, are you ok?"

Hanna pursed her lips as Caleb's voice interrupted her trail of thought, and she swiped at a tear that she didn't even realise had fallen down her cheek until that moment.

He stood up, and walked over to her, before tentatively reaching out to place his hand on her upper arm. He drew it back after a couple of seconds, unsure how she would respond to him keeping it there for any longer. "Listen, if there's something that's upsetting you, or if there's something else that I've done, then you can tell me," He spoke softly, his kind eyes searching hers for some sort of clue as to how she was feeling.

Something about the sincerity in his voice, and the way that he was looking at her, instantly made Hanna feel less nervous. This Caleb was so different to the one that she had become accustomed to; he was more like the vulnerable Caleb that she had briefly been introduced to on _that_ night. She liked this Caleb. He made her want to open up, to tell him everything that she so desperately wanted to, _needed_ to.

And so she did.

The moment that the words left her mouth, she felt bile rising up in her throat, and was almost sure that she was about to be sick.

"I'm pregnant."

Caleb didn't react at first – he simply stood opposite to her, his arms crossed over his chest, a blank expression on his features. Hanna wished that he would do something, _anything_ … even yelling at her would be better than what he was doing now. The silence continued for so long that it became deafening. Hanna's heart sank to the pit of her stomach, and a single tear escaped her eye as she stared down at the floor.

She should have known; she should never have told him.

Her head shot up at the sound of a short laugh, which had presumably come from Caleb. He was smiling now, but it wasn't a happy smile, by any means – it seemed to be one of disbelief, more than anything. "Pregnant?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow, "You're pregnant?" His voice was increasing in volume with every word that he spoke, and Hanna took a step back, feeling a little intimidated.

She nodded weakly, "Yeah."

"Please tell me it isn't mine," He murmured as he pushed his hand through his hair, "Of course it's mine, you wouldn't be telling me this if it wasn't mine. It is, isn't it?" He rambled.

All that Hanna could do was nod again, confirming his suspicions.

Caleb inhaled deeply through his nose as he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be thinking about his next move. Hanna had noticed that her hands were shaking in anticipation; actually, her whole body was shaking. At least, if nothing else, she had told him, and it was no longer a secret that she had to keep from him.

When Caleb opened his eyes, and saw the fear emanating from Hanna's features, he instantly felt a wave of guilt wash over him. This was just as much his fault as it was hers; he was sure that she was just as nervous, unhappy, _shocked_ by the news as he was. He stepped forward, so that he was directly in front of her, and took one of her hands in his. Hanna looked apprehensive, unsure of what exactly what he was doing, startled by his seemingly sudden change in mood.

"I'm sorry, for snapping at you," He swallowed, looking her directly in the eye, "I know this isn't easy for you either."

"Yeah, it's not," She mumbled, pulling her hand away from his.

Caleb shuffled his feet around awkwardly for a moment as the magnitude of what was actually happening to him, to _them_ , sunk in. "Do you, uh," He started, completely unsure of what would be the right thing to say, "Are you sure?"

"It's been confirmed by a doctor," Hanna informed him as she squeezed her eyes shut, and a fresh batch of tears rolled down her cheeks. "Listen, I know this isn't want you want, me _or_ the baby," She sighed, "So you don't have to be a part of our lives. You never have to speak to me again, if that's what you want. I just… needed you to know."

Caleb scratched at the stubble under his jaw as he processed Hanna's words. She was making assumptions, sure, but she wasn't totally wrong. Just like her, he had only turned eighteen earlier that year, and having a baby definitely wasn't part of his plan for the near future. But something about her words, and the sadness contained within them, resonated with him.

He had been abandoned as a child. He had been thrown between foster parents, without any sort of stability, for years and years upon end. He knew how it felt, he knew what it was like to have a father who didn't care.

He couldn't bear the thought of putting his child through the same ordeal.

Caleb inhaled deeply, and looked up to meet Hanna's gaze. She appeared to be tired, so tired, and overwhelmingly anxious. He imagined his mother feeling that way, when his father had left all those years ago. No, this baby wasn't going to meet the same fate as he had. He couldn't let that happen. "That's not what I want," He shook his head, defiantly.

Hanna's facial expression suddenly softened, her worried frown turning into a small smile as she licked her lips and took a sharp breath in. "It isn't?"

"No," He informed her, sincerity seeping through in his warm voice, "Look, Marissa-"

"Marissa," Hanna interrupted him, her eyes going wide in realisation, "Shit, how did I forget about Marissa," She panicked, before turning around to sit on the chair that Caleb had pulled up for her earlier.

"Hanna-"

"Caleb, no," She waved her hands out in front of her, "No. I get it, you have a girlfriend, one who already blackmails and bullies you without knowing that you got another girl pregnant," She finished with a sad laugh, burying her face in her hands.

"Hanna, she isn't my girlfriend, we broke up months ago, you know that," He tried desperately, "And-"

"But I still see you together, Caleb!" She shrieked, standing up and walking over to him, "Did you just lie to me that day, to get me into bed?" Tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried, and failed, to calm herself down. "I don't want any part of her near my baby, and you and Marissa seem to come as a package deal, so."

"Hanna, just let me tell you something," He sighed, raising his voice a little in order to get her attention, "Then you can walk away, if you want to."

"You know what," She snivelled, struggling to keep her emotions under control, "It was a mistake telling you. You're not the kind of guy that wants to be a father, anyway." She didn't miss the hurt look that appeared on Caleb's face as soon as the words had left her mouth.

Hanna felt a little guilty, for being so dismissive of him, but the very mention of Marissa's name in connection to her baby had instantly sent shivers down her spine.

It was just going to be the two of them, her, and her baby.

They didn't need anybody else.

They would make it work.

It was all going to be just fine.

* * *

 **Lalalalala, well that's that. What was Caleb trying to tell Hanna? Does he really want to be part of the baby's life? Will Hanna change her mind about keeping the baby? Who knows…**

 **Reviews are appreciated as always, and let me know in a review if you'd like a preview of the next chapter x**


	6. Three Months

**Thank you so much for all of your sweet reviews on the last chapter... some of you have made some very accurate predictions.**

 **I think – or at least I hope – that you guys will like this chapter, it's really an introduction to what the rest of the story will focus on.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Three Months

* * *

Hanna had always vowed not to bite her nails – it was something that she passionately hated watching other people do, and more to the point, she would never be seen dead with anything other than a perfect manicure. But as she sat on her bed, waiting for Caleb to reply to her text, she absentmindedly chewed away on her thumb nail as if it was the very task that she was put on Earth to do.

It was he who had text her first, unexpectedly of course, simply asking her whether he would be able to come over to her dorm in order for them to talk later that day. Hanna's immediate response was to be defensive, and ask him how the _hell_ he had gotten her number, but when he had replied telling her that she had stolen his phone when she was drunk _that night_ , taken it into her bathroom, and put her number into his contacts, she couldn't really think of a good enough reason to be mad at him.

On the other hand, they hadn't spoken since her little 'outburst', and she didn't really understand why he would attempt to make contact with her after a month of them both pretending that the other person didn't exist. There was a small, and growing part of her that felt guilty for lashing out at him when he had been so kind to her, but up until that moment, she hadn't quite found it within herself to admit it, or to apologise to him. And so, she'd agreed to his suggestion, and was anxiously awaiting his reply, in which he would hopefully tell her what time he would be coming over.

A short but firm knock on the door prompted her to reluctantly lift herself from her bed and walk over to open it – her back had been aching the entire day, especially after five, long college classes, and walking around was the last thing that she wanted to be doing. She didn't really know what she had expected pregnancy be like, largely because she'd tried to think about it as little as possible, but throwing up every morning and feeling like her back was going to break in half every evening certainly were not a part of the glowing-skin-happy-mother-to-be picture that so many people seemed to paint. Though, she supposed that she wasn't like most mothers who were expecting, at least not the ones who were settled, with a job and a partner, and the ones who actually _tried_ for their babies. No, she didn't have any of those things, not even one. The thought terrified her, made her believe that maybe she wouldn't have the support or money or knowledge in order to care for her baby, that maybe she would just have to give them up altogether.

No, she would never let that happen. She couldn't.

Slowly, carefully, so as not to strain her back, she reached out and pulled the door open. Opposite to her, stood a slightly smug looking Caleb, presumably quite amused by the surprised expression on Hanna's face. "What are you doing here?" She raised her eyebrows at him, "I literally just texted you asking you when you were coming over?"

"Yeah…" He trailed off, "I thought that it would be easier to just come over to tell you that I'm coming now."

"You could have given me some kind of warning, I would have at least put on something other than sweats," She rolled her eyes, whilst simultaneously stepping out of the way so that he could move into her room, which was a lot emptier now that both Emily and Alison had moved out. Their beds were still there, though, and Hanna had moved them so as to create a king-sized bed for herself, the only perk of living alone that she had been able to think of thus far. "So what did you wanna talk to me about?" She prompted Caleb as he closed the door behind himself, "Must be kinda important if you were willing to walk _all_ the way over here," She joked, referring to the very short distance between his dorm and hers.

Caleb gave her a short laugh in return, shaking his head at her sarcastic tone. "I don't know if you remember, or if you've just erased that whole night from your memory," He chuckled, though it was more out of nervousness than amusement, "But I uh, I kinda wanted to tell you something... after you told me that you were, you know."

"Yeah," Hanna confirmed with a short nod, her voice hushed, "And then I lashed out at you," She rolled her eyes at herself, "I remember."

Caleb inhaled deeply, and shuffled his feet around, looking down at the ground briefly before his eyes met Hanna's in an intense stare. "Think I could tell you now?" He asked cautiously, jamming his hands into his pockets.

"Of course," Hanna smiled softly at him, turning her body slightly towards his, "And I promise, I won't scream at you this time."

"You sure about that?" Caleb raised his eyebrows at her.

Hanna rolled her eyes again – this time at him. "Just tell me before I kick you out of my room," She joked, reaching out to slap his arm lightly.

He laughed back at her, his smile quickly fading as he realised that he was actually going to have to be serious now. "Marissa and I have broken up, for good," He swallowed loudly, "She's leaving college, and moving back home. You don't have to worry about her anymore. She's not going to hurt me, or you, or our baby."

 _Our baby_.

The words sounded so strange coming from his mouth, like a foreign language. It would have been odd for him to have referred to a _sandwich_ that they were sharing as theirs, let alone a tiny human. Despite the feeling of unsureness that had overcome her body at hearing his words, she was also overwhelmingly relieved.

Marissa was gone, and now Caleb could spend time with her, and the baby.

 _Did she even want him to spend time with them?_ Why, all of a sudden, did she feel a flood of warmth at the prospect? Was it just because she was lonely? She could hardly tell her parents about what was going on, and Emily and Alison were nowhere to be seen most of the time, now that they had moved out. It was hard not to let her mind wander, to conjure up a vision of she and Caleb and their tiny baby lounging on her bed together, his arms around her as she cradled their son, or daughter…

No. She couldn't let her imagination stretch that far.

The yearning was just loneliness, she had decided.

Caleb would never want to be a part of that picture, anyway. He wasn't that kind of guy. She was already asking too much of him, wanting him to be a part of the baby's life. Right?

"She's really leaving?" Hanna eventually choked out, sensing that the silence in the room was becoming somewhat awkward for Caleb, "For good?"

"Yeah, I spoke to her parents and they told me that she decided that college wasn't for her. I don't know why exactly," He shrugged, "But to be honest, I don't really care. As long as she's out of my sight, I can focus on you and the baby."

"Me and the baby?" Hanna raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth twitching and threatening to spread into a smile as she tried to bring a little humour to their otherwise serious conversation, "So suddenly you care about me?"

She saw something akin to panic flash across Caleb's eyes briefly before he caught on to her teasing and shook his head, rolling his eyes at her as he took a step forward. "No, you just come as a package deal, so I have to care about you by default," He joked, allowing himself to smile back at her.

"Whatever you say," Hanna shrugged, jutting out her bottom lip before walking over to her bed, and sitting cross-legged on top of her comforter, her back resting against the headboard. She stretched her arms up above her head, and a pained expression crept upon her features as she did so.

"You okay?" Caleb asked her, a little concerned as to why her face was all scrunched up.

Hanna shook her head as she brought her arms back down to her sides, "No, my back's been killing me all day, I need to lay out on this bed for the rest of my life and never get up again," She joked, "They can bring my college classes to me."

"That bad?" He grimaced, his eyes full of sympathy for her.

"I don't know, I'm probably just being dramatic," She chuckled, "But the bottom of my back feels like it's on fire."

"Uh, that sounds kinda serious," Caleb trailed off as he took a step towards Hanna's bed – she nodded, letting him know that he was welcome to sit on the end of it. "You want me to do anything to help? I can get you a hot water bottle or something?"

"I'll be fine, honestly," Hanna shook her head, smiling back at his sweet suggestion, "I'll just take some painkillers and get some sleep."

"Right, right, of course, you wanna sleep. I'll leave you alone," Caleb apologised, moving to stand up from the bed again before Hanna reached out to place her hand on his leg.

"No, you don't have to go," She gulped, "Not if you don't want to."

"You want me to stay?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

Hanna shrugged, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. "We could watch a movie or something," She suggested, "I could really use the company, now that Em and Ali aren't here."

"They really moved out for good, huh?" He asked, his voice soft and full of sympathy. Hanna nodded, and he sat back down on the bed next to her, before pulling her laptop over and placing it in front of them. "What're we watching?"

Hanna grinned at him as he settled back against the headboard, awaiting her reply, that subtle smirk of his tugging at the corner of his lips. "Birthing videos," She suddenly announced, her face completely void of emotion, "I've been doing some research, and I think you should watch them, too."

Caleb's eyes went wide at her words, and Hanna couldn't help but choke out a laugh.

"I'm kidding," She soothed him, placing a hand on his forearm, "We can watch whatever you want."

Caleb let out a sigh of relief, and held his hand up to his forehead as he sat up straighter, laughing lightly. "Ok, I don't think I'm quite ready to watch those yet," He swallowed, "But I'm glad that you finally have a sense of humour when it comes to all of this."

"Well, I wouldn't say that I have a sense of humour," She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, tilting her head slightly before she let out a short sigh, "More like I use the humour as a defence mechanism, so that people don't know that I want to cry twenty-four seven," She finished with a laugh as she readjusted her back against the headboard.

Caleb furrowed his brow, "You really feel like that? I mean, you really feel like crying all the time?"

Hanna simply mumbled something incoherent in return, lowering her head slightly and fiddling with her hands for a moment before she turned her attention to the laptop screen in front of her.

Caleb reached out to place his index finger under her chin, gently tilting her face up, towards him. "Hanna, do you really feel that sad?"

"Sad, alone, fed up. You name it," She murmured, closing her eyes in embarrassment. She could feel his finger moving away from her chin, and had assumed that he was leaving, before, to her surprise, his warm palm slid across hers as he entwined their fingers.

"Is this okay?" He asked gently, unsurely, raising an eyebrow.

She swallowed, pretending think for a moment, even though she already knew what her answer would be; a short nod confirmed to him that what he had done hadn't overstepped the line. It was strange to Hanna that they were tiptoeing around each other so carefully now, when a couple of months previously, they had slept together. Wasn't it supposed to work the other way around? Though, she supposed that getting pregnant a few weeks after meeting the baby's father didn't really fit with what she had planned out for herself, either.

Hanna had always imagined that she would meet a guy when she was young – seventeen, eighteen at the most – fall in love with him, marry him, and have children with him… maybe they'd even get a dog, too. Now, she was beginning to realise just how naïve her way of thinking had been, that no matter what she had wanted, or been striving for, her reality was completely different. It was a scary thought for the most part, but there was a small spark of excitement in the pit of her stomach that ignited every time she thought about the purpose and meaning that a tiny newborn baby would bring to her life.

There was no sexual intention behind the way in which their fingers were intertwined, and the way in which his thumb was now drawing circles over the back of her hand. It was a simple gesture of acknowledgement, but also one of reassurance, something to let her know that he wasn't going anywhere, that he would be around for as long as she wanted him to be. Feeling his palm against hers was more comforting than Hanna had thought it would be, and she found herself becoming more and more relaxed the longer that his hand stayed in place. She gripped it a little tighter, fearful that he would pull away.

"So what about this movie, huh?" She eventually breathed out, "Any preferences?"

"No," Caleb shook his head, "You can choose, it's okay." There was a distinct hint of sadness in his eyes, the remnants of hers reflected in his endlessly darker orbs, Hanna realised. She could tell that he was pitying her, or feeling sorry for her, or something along those lines, and it was making her feel guilty. This was her pain. He shouldn't have to share it with her. Of course, that wasn't totally the case, and their situation had come about due to the actions of them both. But, being who she was, Hanna Marin had placed all of the blame on herself.

Knowing that there was finally someone who wanted to share that blame, to ease the feeling of guilt that she had become so accustomed to, was making her feel just a little more hopeful.

"There was actually something else that I wanted to tell you," Caleb murmured after noticing that Hanna wasn't making any sort of a move to pick out a movie for them, "Other than the whole Marissa thing."

"Uh, sure, go for it," Hanna swallowed, turning her head towards him as she tried to clear her mind of all other thoughts.

"I know you probably just wanna take your mind off of the whole pregnancy thing for a while, but, uh, I really meant what I said," He started, his voice a little shaky, "I would never want the baby, our baby, to grow up without a father. I grew up without one, without a mother too, actually, and the thought of our baby having to go through the same crap that I did…" He trailed off, letting out a sad laugh as he folded his knees up to his chest, finally letting go of Hanna's hand in order to wrap his arms around his legs, "No, that's not gonna happen."

"You didn't have a mom or a dad?" Hanna spoke softly as she raised her eyebrows at him, her gaze full of concern.

Caleb shook his head briefly, and then stayed silent for a moment before he spoke again. "I was passed between foster home after foster home, made to live with people who didn't care about me, just wanted me for the support cheques," He shrugged, staring down at the bed. "I know what it's like to feel unwanted, and I don't want our baby to feel the same way. I want them to know that they have two parents who care about them. It's shit to grow up feeling like you're an inconvenience."

Hanna nodded slowly, biting her bottom lip as she processed his words. It hurt her to know that Caleb had gone through that – in a way, she felt like she could relate somehow, with her father having left their family home a few years beforehand. He'd married another woman, become a father figure to another teenage girl, and somehow ended up preferring her to Hanna, or at least that's how she had interpreted the situation. She had been abandoned by her father, and worse yet, somebody else got to have him as their father instead.

But she knew in her heart, that what she had gone through was nothing compared to what Caleb would have experienced; she couldn't even contemplate what it would have felt like if her mother had left her, too. She would simply have been broken. Her heart sunk at the thought of the pain that Caleb must have endured over the years, of his face when he had been told that his parents had gone, that they had left him for good.

"How, how old were you? When they left?" She choked out, noticing that her eyes had begun to tear up a little. In contrast, Caleb's looked stone cold as he continued to stare down at her comforter.

"I never met my father," He mumbled, "And uh, my mom left when I was five. Left with me with my aunt, who passed me on to social services. Nobody wanted me."

Now, it was Hanna's turn to reach out, and entwine her fingers with his. Caleb didn't even look up as she did so, just gave her hand a gentle squeeze as a sign of his gratitude to her. "I know this sounds super cheesy," She breathed out, "But you have people who want you now. Your baby wants you, needs you, and so do I. I want you here, no matter how many times I yell at you or tell you to leave," She rolled her eyes at herself, trying to lighten the situation a little. "It's just all been so… strange, and intense, and I guess I've never really been able to tell you how I feel about the whole thing. But I've come to terms with it now, maybe not completely, but enough to know that I want the baby and that I want you to be in their life. Things will be so much easier, so much better with you around, Caleb."

As she finished speaking, Caleb looked up for the first time in minutes, meeting her gaze and shooting her a warm smile. He nodded slowly, an acknowledgement of the fact that what she was telling him, was the absolute truth. In some ways, it overwhelmed him – nobody had ever told him that they wanted him around before. It made him feel warm, gave him some sense of hope, and it was that very sense of warmth and hopefulness that made him feel a little uneasy. The sense of belonging was so unfamiliar to him that he didn't know what to do with it. And so, he tried to bounce the attention back onto Hanna, in order to move it away from himself. "So what about your family?" He asked her, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed again, "What're they like?"

Sensing that he was trying to steer their conversation in another direction, Hanna happily complied. "My family are just very conservative, you know. If they came to visit and saw the way I dress when I go to parties, or knew that I would going to parties at all, actually, then they'd take me straight back home with them," She rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Caleb nodded in understanding. "Do they know yet?" He enquired, cautiously, "Have you told them?"

"Do who know what?" Hanna raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he was trying to get at.

Caleb exhaled, before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, fully aware of the fact that he was about to bring up a particularly sensitive topic for Hanna. "Your parents. Have you told them that you're pregnant yet?" He asked gently.

"No," Hanna retorted, immediately looking down at her hands, "And I'm not going to, I can't."

"So if they come to visit, and you're seven months pregnant, then you're ju-"

"Caleb!" She interrupted him, clearly starting to get worked up, "I said I'm not going to tell them! I can't, they can't find out, they can't know about... this... any of it..." Her last word trailed off as she spluttered, and a series of tears cascaded down her cheeks, creating tiny wet patches on her cotton shorts.

Caleb instantly knew that she didn't want him to say anything else, that what she needed wasn't for someone to tell her that it would all be okay, because she knew, and he knew, that it wouldn't. It was going to be hard, for both of them. And so, he simply closed her laptop, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and let her tears fall against his skin as she buried her head into the crook of his neck.

* * *

It was three o'clock in the morning when Caleb woke up – he was only aware of the time due to the fact that his phone had buzzed beside him, and he had looked over to see that he had a text from his roommate, asking where he was. He squinted for a moment, partly because of the light emanating from the screen, and partly due to the desperate attempt that he was making to remember where he was, and why he wasn't in his own bed.

He finally came to his senses when he looked to his other side, and saw Hanna nuzzled up against his chest, fast asleep, her cheeks still stained with mascara. He should have known, given the fact that the entire left side of his body was numb. He smiled to himself, and shut his phone back off, before wrapping his arm a little tighter around Hanna's shoulders as he allowed himself to drift back off to sleep.

For the first time in his life, somebody needed him.

* * *

 **I think the next few chapters of this story are cute… you guys may or may not like them. Just want to apologise for the slow speed of my updates, too – I'm crazy busy with uni at the minute, and it's really hard to find any time to write (as much as I want to!). As always, reviews are very much appreciated, and just let me know in a review if you want a preview x**


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